Thursday

Hypocrisy Smorgasbord (1999 redux edition)...

It is almost unbelievable how quickly a search on the Google can produce such a cornucopia of Conservative hypocrisy. I posted one of these beauties earlier, but I tell ya'...I just can resist commenting on damn near every single one of these statements...Let's break it down (my bolds)!!!

(Huge props to the madman/woman at democrats dot org who put all this together!)

(Note: I understand the concept of linear-time, and that it doesn't really make sense to compare these past comments about Kosovo to current points of view on Iraq...This is meant to be satirical as well as to point out what a total bunch of dickheads these guys are! Remember, these quotes are from 1999, and the positions referenced are from the same year.)

Let's get rolling...

Then-GOP Presidential candidate Dan Quayle: “What has happened is we have taken a political crisis and a humanitarian crisis and escalated it into a full military crisis. The handling of the situation in the Balkans reflects the inattention of the Clinton Administration to foreign policy. … You have the same situation [as Vietnam]. Ambiguity, no stated, clear cut mission and then you are going to have to be there quite some time.” [Omaha World Herald, 3/28/99]


Oh! Dan Quayle...It's funny you should bring up Vietnam. Why is it funny you ask? Because every time a Democrat compares Iraq to Vietnam, people of your ilk shit a brick. By the way Dan, where the hell have you been? Still working on the potato spelling bee I presume. I'm thinking of two words put together to form slang...what are they??? Oh yeah...first word "dumb" - second word "ass".

Then-GOP Presidential candidate Lamar Alexander: “Once we've started bombing we should bomb aggressively and consistently and for a long time to try and bring Milosevic to the table. But the president needs to tell us the rest of the story. Which is that if we put peace-keeping American forces in Kosovo they are going to be there for a long time, maybe as long as they have been in Korea, 25 to 50 years; and if they are harmed as they were in Somalia, then we are going to put other forces in there to make sure that they are safe.” [Fox News, “Hannity & Colmes,” 3/26/99]

Yeah...Good friggin' thing we don't do dumb shit anymore like putting peace keeping forces in a country with absolutely no clear cut mission at hand and no timetable for withdraw. Uhhhh??? Oh, wait!!! Not "peace-keepers" - the "SURGE". My bad Lamar, My bad.

Then-GOP Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan: “And what are we doing bombing and attacking this tiny country that has never attacked the United States to rip away from them a province that does not belong to us? I believe it is an unjust war. I think we have failed in our strategic objectives, and it is now becoming basically no longer a war for Kosovo but a war to save NATO’s credibility and NATO’s face. And that does not justify sending in an army of 100,000 American ground troops into the Balkans.” [NBC, “Meet the Press,” 4/25/99]

I don't know Pat. What a terrible idea! What would justify "sending an army of" 140,000 "American ground troops" into a country that has "never attacked the United States"? (Sidebar here folks: I just figured it out. We liberals don't get the big picture for Iraq. You see, Clinton fucked up because there was no monetary value for his corporate donors [or Al Gore...Ahem... Darth...dammit!...Dick Cheney] in sending troops into Kosovo. I mean the only thing that we got out of that conflict was an end to a mass genocide - the likes of which the world had not seen since the Holocaust. On the flip side, people are getting filthy fucking rich as a result of this Iraq thing. And don't forget...because Bill Kristol will come get you in the middle of the night if you do!...Saddam and Osama were BFF's - aside from that whole hating each other thing.) Unjustified war in Iraq? I think not!

Then-GOP Presidential candidate Gary Bauer: “The President has not demonstrated he’s got a way to solve a crisis or conflict that literally has been raging since 1350. … They treated each other with an incredible amount of inhumanity. That’s a terrible thing. It offends our conscience. But how in the world are American boys flying over Kosovo dropping bombs going to somehow stop something that’s been going on for 600 years?” [Des Moines Register, 4/17/99]

True, true. I have a question, though. How is sending an additional 21,500+ troops into Iraq going to solve a conflict that has been going on for almost 1400 years? Take your time and get back to me Gary.

GOP House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL): “Many may question the path that has taken us to this point. I have my own questions about the long term strategy of this campaign.” [Dallas Morning News, 3/25/99]

I have a "long term strategy" question about your sanity you crazy asshole. While the military is engaged in a quagmire in Iraq, you spend your days covering up a scandal involving a pedophile and congressional pages. N-I-C-E!


House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-TX): “Mr. Speaker, this is a very difficult speech for me to give, because I normally, and I still do, support our military and the fine work that they are doing. But I cannot support a failed foreign policy. … But before we get deeper embroiled into this Balkan quagmire, I think that an assessment has to be made of the Kosovo policy so far. President Clinton has never explained to the American people why he was involving the U.S. military in a civil war in a sovereign nation, other than to say it is for humanitarian reasons, a new military/foreign policy precedent. … Was it worth it to stay in Vietnam to save face? What good has been accomplished so far? Absolutely nothing.” [Congressional Record, “Removal of United States Armed Forces from the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia,” 4/28/99]

I have nothing but sheer and utter disdain for this man. What a fucking drama queen. “Mr. Speaker, this is a very difficult speech for me to give..." because I've been up all night committing felonies. I hope I don't disappoint anyone, but for my own sake I'm not going any further with this one. Otherwise, I'd be up for three days straight. Damn, it's hard to resist. Maybe I'll come back to this later.

Oh God no! I forgot this guy doesn't shut the fuck up...ever! (He's still going on these days - shouldn't he be in jail already?)

(Boo-yah, John Amato and C&L crew! Above links are all thanks to Crooks & Liars!)

More from Tommy:

House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-TX): The deployment of U.S. military forces in Kosovo is “just another bad idea in a foreign policy without a focus.” [Editorial, Saint Paul Pioneer Press (Minnesota), 3/17/99]

It's a bad idea for me to be writing about you Tom...I think every time I read or hear something you say can be equated to smoking a cigarette...It takes several minutes off my life. But hey, at least your buddy Dubya doesn't have problem with focusing on foreign policy...mostly due to the fact that he doesn't know what those words mean.

House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-TX): “America needs to quickly change directions and leave behind this chilling comedy of errors that has defined our foreign policy.” [Copley News Service, 3/22/99]

Huh, "...comedy of errors.."? Yeah, that whole thing was a fucking riot!

Sharp, blinding pain! Make it stop!

House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-TX): “First of all, it's using NATO for the first time to attack a sovereign nation. … It’s also one more adventure in a whole line of adventures of failed foreign policy.” [“Fox News Sunday,” 3/14/99]

If stopping an entire race of people from being wiped off the face of the Earth can be called an adventure, what the hell do we call the war in Iraq? An expedition perhaps? By the way, the pain continues...

House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-TX): “I had the utmost confidence in President Bush. He had laid the groundwork, and our national interest in the Middle East was clear. In the gulf we had a country that was invaded [Kuwait], and an oil interest to defend. … [In the Balkans] we have a president I don’t trust, who has proven my reason for not trusting him: had no plan. We have a civil war that was falsely described as a huge humanitarian problem, when in comparison to other places, it was nothing.” [Washington Post, 5/4/99]

Okay, I'm done.

Tom Delay is a disgraceful, sycophantic human being. Teach your children to stay the hell away from people like him. No conscience, no soul, no compassion - only self-serving greed and political lust that finally caught up and bit him in the ass.

Senate Assistant Majority Leader Don Nickles (R-OK): “I think he’s [Clinton] gotten us into a mess. I don’t think you can bomb a country into signing a peace agreement.” [Washington Post, 4/13/99]

Can we bomb one into ending a civil war?

Senate Assistant Majority Leader Don Nickles (R-OK): “The Administration, and NATO as a whole, greatly miscalculated the response Slobodan Milosevic would have to a bombing campaign. As I predicted, the Administration has escalated what was guerilla warfare into a much more serious conflict. The bombings have unleashed an evil reign and resulted in a humanitarian disaster.” [Senator Don Nickles, Press Release, 4/21/99]

Damn near the exact opposite of Iraq. Defeated the largest, most powerful military in the Middle East in approximately three weeks and bring a 25+ year evil reign to an end...Mission Accomplished. Four years later...guerilla warfare and humanitarian disaster with no apparent end in sight. Don Nickles is bizzaro-Nostradamus.

Senate Assistant Majority Leader Don Nickles (R-OK): “I want NATO to be credible, but for crying out loud, when you are so arrogant to say here is our wisdom, here is this accord, we determined this is in your best interest and you must sign it or else we are going to bomb you--I stated in my speech on the bombing resolution that I don't think you can bomb a country into submission or into signing an agreement.” [Congressional Record, Senator Don Nickles, 5/3/99]

Yeah...That's almost as arrogant as believing Congress has no oversight of the Executive Branch, ignoring the will of an overwhelming majority of the people you represent, disregarding the Geneva Convention, trashing habeas corpus, spying on American citizens without proper search warrants, telling the U.N. to essentially "fuck off", firing U.S. attorneys for political purposes, threatening to veto a war spending bill that passed both houses of Congress (we already covered that one though), outing a covert CIA agent to get back at her husband...See where this is going?

Senator (and staunch global warming denier) James Inhofe (R-OK): “(P)resident [Clinton] has decimated our ability to defend ourselves.” [USA Today, 4/5/99]

You've decimated your ability to ever be taken seriously by anyone capable of rational thought, which pretty much leaves you with thirty percent of the population.

Senator Judd "I don't understand what a trillion is" Gregg (R-NH): “I don’t believe that a ground war in Kosovo using American troops is going to be very successful.” [NBC, “Meet the Press,” 4/18/99] (Link from Democratic Underground)

I don't believe that an American Senator doesn't know what a trillion is. Seriously, you can figure that out with a little deductive reasoning for Cripe's sake! Consequently, I now believe that we should require all Senators to take a fifth grade math test (and pass it!) before they are allowed to hold office.

Representative Randy “Duke” Cunningham (convicted felon) (R-CA): “This is the most inept foreign policy in the history of the United States.” [Washington Times, 4/29/99]

You're the most inept criminal in the history of the United States. Sad story...highly decorated Vietnam pilot now spending his days making license plates and tennis shoes in federal prison. I guess that's what you get for drawing up a "bribe menu" for your lobbyists (not to mention the prostitution allegations). Honestly Duke, a bribe menu? You're an idiot!

Could it be any more fitting that this is the last dumbass comment on the list:

Senator Richard Lugar (R-IN): “This is President Clinton’s war, and when he falls flat on his face, that’s his problem.” [New York Times, 5/4/99]

Bill Clinton remains one of the most popular president's in history...not just in this country, but all over the world. In contrast, Dubya has fallen so flat on his face that if you heat it up and give him a glass of water you could iron clothes with his head (Be thankful I changed that last sentence from the original, which was: "Dubya has fallen so flat on his face that it now actually has a negative curvature"...Not funny...I know. I'm a scientist and a dork, so I couldn't resist putting that one in for my peeps! All three of 'em. THAT'S WHAT I DO!).

Sweet, sweet irony...I heart you.

Peace out folks!



Yes, John McCain...

Things are just going swimmingly in Iraq. I know I can't wait until summer gets here so I can book a flight to Iraq where I can apparently "stroll around the streets of Baghdad". What a fuckhead!

The Sh*t is getting deeper...

From Newsweek via FDL:

Smells Like …Turdblossom.

“Thanks for everything,” Domenici chief of staff Steve Bell wrote Rove and two other White House officials, including Rove’s political deputy, Scott Jennings, in a Jan. 8, 2007 e-mail that forwarded the name of a candidate to replace Iglesias.

Buried in Justice Department documents released two weeks ago, the Bell e-mail was not initially noticed by congressional investigators because it was sent to Rove’s political e-mail account—not his more clearly recognizable White House e-mail address….

Asked about the e-mail today, and why Bell was thanking Rove, Domenici’s press secretary, Chris Gallegos said: “We’re not going to have anything to say about that e-mail.” He added that Bell “did not want to discuss a private communication.” White House press spokesman Tony Fratto said the e-mail was "interpreted" by the three White House officials who recevied it as a thank you for considering the names of Domenici's candidates for replacing Iglesias—not for their help in removing Iglesias. Did Rove in fact intervene to have Iglesias removed? Fratto replied: "We're not commenting on that" because of general White House policy not to talk about "internal White House communications."

Yep, it's okay to talk about some things, just not others that might be…shall we say…inconvenient, according to White House policy. Nice that the Rove's White House political shop had a back door e-mail service to use for cryptic political e-mails that they can't talk about because they were…wait, how is it that White House policy applies to non-official e-mails, again?

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this whole damn mess. However, I have to chuckle when I think back several years ago...back to the time the Earth almost wobbled off her axis when Bill Clinton was trying to define the word "is". The GOP was on that little slip-up like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. The good ol' days! Thank God for Republicans like presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani who has the sense to realize that we should give Gonzo "the benefit of the doubt". I agree...I mean it's not like Gonzales hasn't been anything less than outright forth coming on this issue. This isn't even close to being as bad as oral sex in the Oval Office. We should all just pretend this whole thing never happened and stop worrying about it. Otherwise, people might start thinking the Bush junta is the most corrupt regime to hold power in this country since the Nixon Administration. And we can't have people questioning the president during a time of war, now can we? (my bolds):

Then-GOP Presidential candidate Governor George W. Bush: According to the Houston Chronicle: “Bush, in Austin, criticized President Clinton’s administration for not doing enough to enunciate a goal for the Kosovo military action and indicated the bombing campaign might not be a tough enough response. ‘Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is,’ Bush said.” [Houston Chronicle, 4/9/99]

If the current situation wasn't so tragically depressing, it would be as funny as a bear cub humping a football.

Wednesday

Recently, I came across a Glenn Greenwald article posted at Salon. The article is in regard to a recent "literary luncheon" hosted by President Bush. I've made my feelings about neo-conservative ideology clear several times. I think that this particular mindset is the single greatest threat to American prosperity that our nation faces today, not to mention the implied threat these ideals pose to any country that dare disagree with a single decision of the current neo-con (NC) leadership. Damn near everything these so called "patriots" believe in is in direct contradiction to the principles upon which this country was founded.

The Greenwald article is long, but please read it. Truly scary stuff!

The luncheon was held to honor an NC author, Andrew Roberts, who recently wrote a right-wing revisionist history of the 20th century. I'm sure I will never read this book (mostly because I fear the self-inflicted injuries reading such a book would cause...It's a rare occurrence I can watch Fox Noise for more than 5 minutes before feeling the urge to destroy something) and I am thankful for people like Greenwald who have the patience to put up with such vitriol.

A little glimpse of Robert's delusional mind's eye:

I fear, in the light of Congress's recent nonbinding (and utterly self-contradictory) resolution opposing the surge, the gross bias of much of the Left-Liberal media, and the present poll ratings of Sen Hillary Clinton, that the US will lose the will to fight the War against Terror in any manner that might hold out the hope of ultimate victory.

Yeah. Well, that's the same old fucking song and dance these cats have been jazzin' for the last six years. By the way Andy, you guys have done a stellar job with the war on terror. Seriously...The president decided OBL was irrelevant after six months in Afghanistan, and he and his NC cohorts proceeded to lead the nation into a war that has lasted longer than American involvement in WWI and WWII. One more thing, since you brought up the fact that we are doomed to lose the war based on Hillary's poll numbers.?.What exactly do you consider "ultimate victory"? That's not a rhetorical question either. I really want someone from the "Right" to explain to me how we achieve "ultimate victory" in the war on terror. Fuck that...that would take to long...Just in one sentence, define "ultimate victory". And before you say ridding the world of terrorists...remember OK-city, and the countless bombings health centers/murder of doctors (yes, I mean abortion clinics, assholes! However, they do more than just kill clumps of cells in those places ya know!) that took place before 9/11 and have continued since that day.

Moving on with the luncheon...

On one subject the president needed no lessons from Roberts or anyone else in the room: how to handle pressure. "I just don't feel any," he says with the calm conviction of a man who believes the constituency to which he must ultimately answer is the Divine Presence. Don't misunderstand: God didn't tell him to put troops in harm's way in Iraq; belief in Him only goes so far as to inform the president that there is good and evil. It is then his job to figure out how to promote the former and destroy the latter. And he is confident that his policies are doing just that.

And I'm confident he's dead wrong and a horrible Christian who has never studied the Bible past the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. By the way "W", Christian implies someone who follows the teachings of Christ...that bearded guy who shows up half way through that book you guys are constantly thumping on...You know him...he's the guy who came up with all that "Love thy neighbor"..."Do unto others"..."Blessed are the meek" stuff.

Anyway...I'm gonna end it there. And I am not being hyperbolic in the least bit when I say that I have barely scratched the surface of how fucking scary this article is...you MUST read it!!!

Here is another link to the article

Does anyone have thoughts on how to combat this abhorrent ideology?

Neo-liberalism possibly?

Tuesday

Sweet Jeebus these folks are nutz...

This post is over at Shakespeare's Sister today. Wow, you gotta give these people some credit - "...when you open a jar of peanut butter, you should sometimes see new life forming inside." That's using the old imagination! Coming from an engineer that statement is pretty rich and creamy, just like the life giving peanut butter...All hail the PB&J!!!

Coincidentally, I was just reviewing some of the more popular Creationist arguments yesterday. For your reading pleasure...

Saturday

Quick note...

With the boredom that accompanies a rainy Saturday afternoon also comes the incessant flipping through cable channels trying to find something to watch. I gave up after about an hour and resigned myself to just listening to music; however, I did notice something interesting and funny. On my local cable, channels 27-32 are reserved for the following channels in no particular order: C-SPAN, Faux News, CNN, CNN Headline News, CNBC, and The Weather Channel. I'm going to concentrate on the first four channels. It was about 2:00 p.m. EDT:

Channel 27 - House Testimony - boring and it's Saturday

Channel 28 - Anna Nicole freakin' Smith - not with us since 2/8/07. God rest her soul.

Channel 29 - Feature on the children of Iraq - chipper news

Channel 30 - More horrible news from Iraq - more chipper news

Here's an I.Q. test question:

Which of the above stories does not belong on a major news network?

A free one of these beauties to the first person to guess which story was being covered by my favorite network (i.e. Faux News).


Hint: You get the equivalent amount of entertainment news from this network as you do from E!, which is sad.

What a loser...

God Almighty...What will Billy do now that people are actually starting to stand up to his pathetic ass? Oh...What's that??? He cuts their mic! I think we should give Billy a big ol' ATTA BOY! Why, there's no room for civil discourse in this country (at least not in the "No Spin Zone"). Bill is always talks about how he's looking out for the ordinary folks, especially the children (By the way Bill, how did that work out for you? Not so good from what I can see.) That's a good lesson for the kids...anytime someone disagrees with you, interrupt them and don't let them say anything else. Then as soon as they're gone, talk about them behind their back. Yeah...The O'Reilly Factor for Kids: A Survival Guide for America's Families...good one. If surviving consists of putting your fingers in your ears and screaming LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA every time someone says something that doesn't sit well with you. I think that's gonna become required reading at The School for Future Conservative Dumb-asses of America.

You tell those dirty-fucking-hippie S-P's were to shove it Bill...Go get 'em tiger.

Add this to your many accolades buddy...


Congrats!!!

Awwwwwwwww! Too Bad...

It appears the Jebba the Hut will not be getting his honorary degree after all. I'm crushed!

Ahhhhhhh....Haaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

Thursday

This is getting old...

(From Reuters , my bolds):

House Republicans were expected to overwhelmingly oppose the legislation because of the troop withdrawal timetable and other conditions being placed on the funds. "This is just the opening round of several months of discussions," House Republican leader John Boehner of Ohio said, predicting that in the end Congress would provide the money without conditions.

Boehner said passage of the Democrats' plan to withdraw troops from Iraq "will without question lead to failure" there.

I'm getting so freakin' tired of Republicans criticizing every Democratic plan on to how to proceed in Iraq with the words, "That will ultimately lead to a failure in Iraq".

Immediate withdraw = Failure

Make sure the troops have adequate training before sending them over = Failure

Timetable for withdraw = Failure

Support the troops already there, but limit funding for more troops = Failure

Diplomatic relations with nations such as Syria and Iran, in an effort to quash foreign attacks = Failure


Now it would seem that since the GOP can't rubber stamp every single piece of White House legislation without even reading or debating it, they are content to rubber stamp every Democratic plan about anything as...FAILURE.

Well, I am getting pretty fucking tired of this crap. And while were on the subject of Iraq, what is the plan? How do we "succeed". I mean, the White House seems to have some grandiose "final solution" to the Iraq problem? Sorry if that offends anyone, but that is about the only idea in modern history that is worse than the "surge"? Let's ask WH press secretary Tony Snow:

(From Think Progress)

When I pressed Tony Snow, and since he’s calling flatly the Democratic plan a recipe for defeat, I asked him, four years later, what is the recipe for success? Tony Snow tried to turn it around on me in this off-camera briefing. He said, well what’s your recipe for success? How do you define it?

And when I pointed out to him that that was inappropriate for me to answer that — it’s not up for me about what the recipe for success is, what is the President’s recipe for success? — Tony felt I was interrupting him and said, “Zip it.” He later apologized. He said he felt that was inappropriate for him to say that to me. But I point it out because I think it shows the White House a little bit on the defensive this morning about this anniversary. When he finally got around to his answer, Tony Snow was saying, well, we hope obviously four years later to start turning this situation over to Iraqi forces on the ground, but he admitted, “You don’t know how things will play out.”

No shit, Tony! We don't know how things will ultimately "play out on the ground". So are we suppose to assume that you guys in the WH have some magic fucking 8-ball that has been giving you really optimistic answers every time Da Prez has shaken it for the last four years...Or maybe you've brought in Ms. Cleo as a White House adviser. Or maybe you guys have your heads so far up your fucking pompous, to proud-to-ever-say-the-word "mistake" asses that you have literally killed so many brain cells due to lack of oxygen that you are truly so delusional you actually believe the words that come out of your mouths. If we apply Occam's Razor to the those three possibilities, I'd have to go with the last one.

I wonder how many soldiers or marines in Iraq were given access to Snow's comments? I have a guess...and it's less than one.


There ya have it...I've been saying it all along...

Tony Snow has finally let the folks over at "Fox and Friends" know that "Congress has no legitimate oversight over the White House". Short of telling Congress to "Fuck Off", this pretty much sums up the current destructive mentality abiding in the Palace or White House (take your pick). The full gist of this outrageous claim is posted at Newshounds.us.

Wednesday

Why Am I So Surprised...

That is the question I've been asking myself all day concerning the skepticism voiced by certain Republicans regarding former VP Gore's testimony today. Honestly though, I am truly surprised (not to mention mildly outraged). I don't have the kind of time it takes to pour through the transcripts of Gore's testimony, so I'm going to borrow some of his more poignant comments from the news organization I just got done expressing displeasure with not more than seven hours ago (Hypocrisy? Yes, but this is mild and I haven't done anything hypocritical yet this week...at least I don't think I have!)

From CNN (my bolds):

"There is a sense of hope in this country that this United States Congress will rise to the occasion and present meaningful solutions to this crisis," Gore said. "Our world faces a true planetary emergency. I know the phrase sounds shrill, and I know it's a challenge to the moral imagination."

Hell, I'm hopeful that this Congress will rise to the occasion and get anything done. I'm not trying to marginalize the threat from global warming in any way, but we are talking about the same people who just a short time ago spent several days debating on whether or not to have a debate. Hell, at this point I'd settle for something like the issuing of a subpoena to Darth Rove...then maybe we can move on to something that might require some actual thought.

Rolling along...

"The best way and the only way to get China and India on board is for the U.S. to demonstrate real leadership," Gore said. "As the world's largest economy and the greatest superpower, we are uniquely situated to tackle a problem of this magnitude," he said.

I agree; however, until we stop trying to tell half of the world how to live their lives, we are neither going to demonstrate "real leadership", nor are we going to be uniquely situated to tackle a problem of any magnitude. I quoted the words "real leadership" to make a point. I'm talking about moral and righteous leadership, not the "benevolent hegemony" that gives PNAC huge raging boners. Apparently, their idea of benevolence is 500 lbs. of cluster bomblets wrapped in a thin steel casing. I could right a thesis about how much I despise seeing those two words next to each other, let alone in the same sentence. Not here though!

And the shitheads', sorry I meant to say GOP responses:

"You're not just off a little, you're totally wrong," said Texas Rep. Joe Barton, the leading Republican on the House Energy and Commerce Committee, as he challenged Gore's conclusion that carbon dioxide emissions cause rising global temperatures.

Let's take a look at Rep. Barton's background. I'm sure this will shed some light as to where he picked up his climatological expertise (from Rep. Barton's website)

...he earned a four-year Gifford-Hill Opportunity Award scholarship to Texas A&M University, where he was the outstanding industrial engineering student for the Class of 1972. After earning a Master’s of Science degree in Industrial Administration from Purdue University, he joined Ennis Business Forms, where he rose to the position of Assistant to the Vice President. In 1981, he was selected for the prestigious White House Fellows Program, and served as an aide to then-Energy Secretary James B. Edwards. He returned to Texas in 1982 as a natural gas decontrol consultant for Atlantic Richfield Oil and Gas Company before being elected to Congress.

Hmmmm? I guess he acquired his astute environmental awareness somewhere between earning his M.S. in Industrial Administration and becoming a "natural gas decontrol consultant" for a (SURPRISE!) Texas oil company. By the way, I did an exact phrase match for a "natural gas decontrol consultant" on The Google and got five hits. I bet you'd never guess that all five hits were about...guess who...Representative Joe Barton (R-Turd-cutter-ville)! Which begs the question: What the fuck does this job entail?

Of course, it may be a fool's errand to question the scientific integrity (or integrity at all for that matter) of a person who holds a job that is so important, he apparently is the only person in history qualified enough to hold such a position. You just simply cannot argue with that, or at least that's probably what he'd like you to believe.

"Global warming science is uneven and evolving," Barton said.

There...that proves it...Barton is the expert and Gore is some alarmist hack who just won an Academy Award for some shitty documentary covering an "uneven and evolving science".

Are Republicans even allowed to use the word "evolve"? I guess he didn't get Falwell's memo about never putting "evolve" and "science" in the same sentence unless the words "godless" and "liberal" are also in that particular sentence.

Let's keep chuggin' along...

Shithead #2, please address the mic:

"A lot of those recommendations are more regulations and more taxation," said former House Speaker Dennis Hastert, a Republican from Illinois, though he added that he agrees with Gore that the scientific debate on climate change is over.

Yeah, God forbid the most profitable corporations in the country would have to pay more taxes in return for the uncontrollable urge to destroy the planet. How the hell is BP going to tell their stock holders that they only earned an $8 billion profit this quarter rather than the normal $10 billion. The fucking economy would collapse...Oh wait...it already is!

And more regulations...Gasp!...Why any regulations at all...I mean these are honest, responsible guys. They wouldn't try to cut corners in order to save a few bucks...No never.

Oh dear! This is something I never thought I would have to say, but on this single instance, I do applaud Dennis Hastert for stating the obvious. At least he doesn't appear to have his head up his ass on whether or not global warming is real.

To the point: As long as windbags like Joe Barton remain in office, we are going to have a major problem doing anything about global warming. People who are so bloody ignorant, they think that the overwhelming majority (>90%) of the scientific community is part of some left-wing conspiracy to bring down the oil companies and install a communistic government in every industrialized nation. Either that, OR, they are huge-money-grubbing douchebags, amazingly surviving without backbones, who "serve at the pleasure" of their corporate masters.

What The F*$k kind of headline is this???

I get back to my office from lunch today and open CNN dot com to find this as the top headline:

House panel defies Bush, votes for subpoenas

How dare the House defy the will of the King? Holy blood clot! Isn't it their job to provide oversight? Well, I guess not according to CNN. After I regained control of my body from the fit of laughter said headline induced, I realized how ridiculous that statement actually is. There's your friggin' liberal media running wild again.

I've about given up on them as a reliable news source and that's just sad.

Tuesday

I'm shocked! Shocked I tell ya!!!

So Da Prez will (from C&L) "...resist all attempts to subpoena..." Palace, excuse me..."White House officials." I know I say this too much, but what the hell...That's a big, huge, enormous fuckin' surprise.

For the record Your Highness, you do understand that the Constitution of the United States of America grants oversight to the legislative branch of the...ahhhh, what the hell I am trying to point out by continuing.

It is preposterous to think that the man has ever read the "god-damned" piece of paper anyway.

What a joke, a tragedy, and an unfathomable failure.

Words cannot describe how desperately the world needs to be rid of the train of thought bearing the title, "neo-conservatism".

Monday

This is soooooo funny...

from Ebaumsworld...

This baby can't stop laughing at a Nintendo Wii. This isn't the normal sort of thing that gets posted here, but this is almost "obnoxiously" cute.

I'd be surprised if it was only a few...

(From C&L):

"Sen. Kay Bailey must have had a few cocktails before she went on MSNBC."

After watching that interview, I'd have to say she had more than a few cocktails OR she is completely insane. What the hell is she babbling about having such a "great economy" during the last elections. Yeah, great for rich senators and their corporate sponsors - check that, political contributors, but that's about the only group of people who were riding the high horse. And by the way Senator Bailey, the reason you guys lost last November was not the Iraq war. The war didn't come over on 6 Nov. 2006, and cast a bunch of votes for Democrats. The REASON you lost is because too many wankers in your party were still pledging their unwaivering loyalty to one of the least popular Presidents in history and trumpeting this "support the troops - don't cut and run - stay the course" horseshit. It took three years, but the majority of Americans finally saw the light and came around to the fact that your party is filled with gutless bullshitters who will say anything to stir up a tiny neo-con base in an attempt to secure a meaningless 30% of the voters.

As for the "fighting a war for our children's freedom" comment, well that is exactly what I was just saying. Sweet Jeebus! She's an idiot. Unfortunately, it would appear that there is an "overwhelming majority" of Texans that are also idiots. NOT all Texans mind you, just the idiots that voted for Bailey.

Sunday

Weeks Best in Conservative Dumb-assery...

This week has been filled with just as much conservative dumb-assery as one would expect. Where to begin...

1) Well, I was flipping through the channels this morning, recovering from what will only be described to as an "interesting" St. Patrick's Day, and came across Fox News Sunday. I know...I know...I've said in the past that I can only watch anything Fox News related for about thirty seconds before I feel like destroying my TV. However, I managed to stomach my vomit long enough today, which amazingly only was about thirty seconds, to experience another stellar moment in conservative dumb-assery. This time it was one of my personally favorite morons, Bill Kristol, claiming that Valerie Plame "...outed herself by having dinner with someone." Yes, because being a covert CIA agent wasn't enough of an exciting lifestyle, she outed herself in order to have her face and name in every newspaper on the planet for the past couple of years. After twenty years of exemplary service to the United States, she decided to say "Screw it", and place herself and all of her contacts at risk by exposing her identity! Good fucking call you total asswipe! Stunning! I wish I could find the transcript (if I do at a later date I will post it!) because this was a particularly awesome segment. My unfathomable distaste for Bill Kristol baffles even myself sometimes.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Kristol's unquestionable loyalty to his king, I mean patriotism, here are some of his past comments (From Think Progress , emphasis mine):

"KRISTOL: They’re playing — they’re leap-frogging each other in the degrees of irresponsibility they’re willing to advocate. And I really think people are being too sort of complacent and forgiving almost of the Democrats. ‘Oh, it’s politics, of course. One of them has a non-binding resolution. The other has a cap.’ It’s all totally irresponsible. It’s just unbelievable. The president is sending over a new commander, he’s sending over troops, and the Democratic Congress, in a pseudo-binding way or non-binding way, is saying, ‘It won’t work. Forget it. You troops, you’re going over there in a pointless mission. Iraqis who might side with us, forget it, we’re going to pull the plug.’ It’s so irresponsible that they can’t be quiet for six or nine months and say the president has made a decision, we’re not going to change that decision, we’re not going to cut off funds and insist on the troops coming back, so let’s give it a chance to work. You really wonder, do they want it to work or not? I really wonder that. I hate to say this about the Democrats. They’re people I know personally and I respect some of them. Do they want it to succeed or not?"

Billy, Billy, Billy. I disagree. What I think is irresponsible is starting a war based on cherry picked intelligence, and then continue to send more young men and women into harm's way even though a large majority of the troops (including some former very high ranking military persons) and country think it's a bad idea. Hard to believe that certain members of Congress, who have a constituency to answer to (that's the idea of a representative government, dickhead), would be so "irresponsible" as to suggest that the surge might be the worst fuckin' idea of all times!

I tell you who I wish would shut the fuck up for 6 - 9 months, hell for that matter 6 - 9 years, Bill friggin' Kristol.

2) Brit Hume was involved with the aforementioned segment as well. Yeah, I was shocked too! Again no transcript, but Hume decided that he was going to question Plame's credibility. Hey why not, it's not like the CIA trusted her credibility enough to make her part of one of the agencies most covert units.

Oh wait!...That is exactly what the CIA did. Again, shocking commentary from Faux News.

Update: Crooks and Liars has the video up now.

Moving on...

3) Glenn Beck was on CNN Sunday to discuss his views on Islam, which are perfectly normal. You may remember Glenn's conversation with Muslim Minnesota Representative Keith Ellison a while back. (From Media Matters):

OK. No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. I've been to mosques. I really don't believe that Islam is a religion of evil. I -- you know, I think it's being hijacked, quite frankly.

With that being said, you are a Democrat. You are saying, "Let's cut and run." And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, "Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies."

And I know you're not. I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way.

Well then why the hell would you even ask that question you piece of conservative crap? Hey folks...it gets better. Today Glenn said that Americans are "living in denial" about the war on terror. He also said that we have to "shut up" about it (Again no transcript, sorry, if found will post). And then he made the spectacular claim that "ten percent of Muslims want to kill us". Holy shit! Thank God he had plenty of data to back something that extraordinary up ---> Absolutely none. Hey Glenn, I know several Muslims - more than ten - and according to your stats bud, at least one of them wants to kill me. Thanks for the warning. I will make sure to watch my back when I get to my office tomorrow, which I share with three Muslims. I will also go to my next departmental seminar with the knowledge that several of my colleagues in the audience are out to get me.

Glenn finished the interview - conducted by Wolf Blitzer - by saying that we live in a "P.C. blanket" under which "we can't say anything". Well that's clearly untrue, otherwise your dumbass wouldn't have your own show from which you can continue to be a pillar of class and dignity. Just ask Dina Sansing. Stay classy Glenn!

OK, I'm gonna end it here, yesterday was a long day and I'm out of energy. Sorry folks. I may add to the list tomorrow.

Another update: Think Progress now has the transcript of Hume's comments up.

Saturday

St. Patty's Day!!!

Get your Irish drink on!!!


Drink responsibly.....Ahhhh! Screw it...........Get schnookered!!!!!!

Just don't drive your car, or bike, or Segway for that matter...or else you may end up like this unfortunate soul...




DA PREZ!!!!

Friday

Important message...

Please check this out and sign the petition. Even if you don't listen to internet radio, this is a good opportunity to show your support for independent music labels from which most of your favorite bands have come from. Trust me...they all start small! (Unless of course the band or artist is the byproduct of some pedophilic wet dream, then they go straight to the top of the charts because record companies pay radio stations to hypnotize listeners by playing said bands really awesome songs 500 times a day.)

(Update: Yeah! I ended one of those sentences with a preposition! Friggin' Jebus cripes...sue me! The rotation of the Earth doesn't hinge on my grammatical correctness! I don't like that rule anyway.)

Greenhouse gas and dinosaur farts...

I know...that is a weird title for a post. What would spawn such a title? Well it would be this article from Reuters...

Winter has been world's warmest on record

The article states that "The ten warmest years on record have occurred since 1995." Hmmm! What could be the cause of this sort of warming trend? Let's ask Representative Dana Rohrabacher (R-Never Never Land) who has shared his thoughts about past rises in global temperatures: “We don’t know what those other cycles were caused by in the past. Could be dinosaur flatulence, you know, or who knows?’'

Yes Dana, and the Tooth Fairy and I had an in depth last night about the ongoing feud between Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. (The Easter Bunny has this whole negative self image thing that has led to some deep seeded resentment towards Santa's rise in popularity as a result of the war on Christmas - for those of you who are out of the loop. Tooth Fairy is very concerned that the Easter Bunny will not be on top of his game this year, which could leave the door open for the secular progressives to launch a counter-offensive in the ongoing culture war.)

Gosh...I'll bet Dana's constituents are just glowing about the fact that they are represented by someone who is a front-runner for the biggest dumbass of all time award. Of course, they keep electing him into office, begging the question: Are his voters themselves huge dumbasses as well, or are they just suffering from the dumb-assery disease that is affecting so much of the country these days?

Back to the point...I'm just a nuclear scientist...I don't know much about climatology so I am definitely not qualified to pass scientific judgment on this issue. So I'm going to use a little thing my parents taught me as a kid...Common sense.

The past ten years have been the warmest on record. Greenhouse gas levels are at a 650,00 year high. It has been proven that greenhouse gases trap heat and cause a rise in global temperature.

Here's the common sense part: The planet is getting hotter and we keep pumping increasing amounts of greenhouse gas into the atmosphere - gases which definitely do not make the planet cooler. See the connection. I do!

If conservatives would spend half as much time recycling aluminum cans as they do worrying about Al Gore's electricity consumption...well I don't know what would happen, but at least we'd be recycling more.

Disgusting...

Well this just keeps getting better and better. Let's take a look at some of my personal favorites from this article:

"The White House said the idea for sacking federal prosecutors in Bush's second term came from former White House Counsel Harriet Miers, who wanted "new blood" in those offices. Miers became White House counsel after Gonzales moved to the attorney general's office."

Yeah...Harriet Miers would have made a great Supreme Court Justice. Hey, at least that one got nipped in the bud - thank God it did! Hell, it should be apparent by now that if Bush had it Cheney's way, we wouldn't even have a Supreme Court (or a Congress or Constitution for that matter - I mean after all, the Constitution is "just a God-damned piece of paper!").

Here's another gem...

"As a general matter, some two years ago, I was made aware of a request from the White House as to the possibility of replacing all United States attorneys," he said. "That was immediately rejected by me. I felt that that was a bad idea and it was disruptive."

Disruptive...No shit! Thanks Gonzo for making that clear. And thanks for not letting something that would be "disruptive" happen...wait a sec...that is exactly what you didn't do...way to go. Lordy, lordy, lordy...Every time I see Gonzales open his mouth I literally expect to see a giant turd come out instead of actual words. Give it time.

The beauty continues...

But earlier Thursday, Rove told an audience at an Alabama college that the administration had "reasonable and appropriate disagreements" with the remaining seven that justified their removals, and Democrats who control Congress "want to play politics with it."

Let me get this straight. The Democrats want to play politics with this issue. Well for one thing, that is their job...C'mon Karl, you of all people should know this. Secondly...you could be the biggest political manipulator since Joseph Goebbels, so shut the fuck up about someone playing politics. Once again...it would be so much easier for these guys to save the country from all the abortion-loving-flag-burning-homosexual terrorists if we just disbanded the Congress. Why can't the Democrats play nice and go along with everything the king, shit I mean Da Prez, says and does. Geeeezzzzz! Someone must have forgotten to give them the memo about how this whole monarchy, dammit to heck - I did it again, I mean democracy thing works nowadays.

And the grand finale...

A senior administration official said Fielding gave no firm answers as to whether White House aides would testify. Democratic leaders gave him a Friday deadline to respond, but White House and administration officials said Bush was likely to invoke executive privilege and bar his advisers from giving public testimony.

Yepper! That'd be a big fucking surprise! One word: DISGUSTING!

Thursday

Accountability...

TRex at FDL has a great commentary on the so called "Curveball". This is the guy who provided the U.S. intelligence community with all the info on Saddam's supposed WMD program. You remember...the "yellow cake" intel, the mobile weapons lab intel, and the Saddam is an imminent threat to U.S. national security intel. That guy...the guy who turned out to be akin to Ahmed Chalabi's Karl Rove...a total fuck up who ultimately leads to his puppet master's demise.

TRex pretty much said everything that I would have, except for when referring to Colin Powell. You see...I still hold high hopes for Powell. Recall the look on his face when he was "making a case for war" in front of the U.N. He knew what he was doing was wrong. I truly believe that Colin Powell is a good man, and that (given his relative reclusiveness for the past few years) the Congress needs to call upon this man to get sworn testimony that shows the thirty percent of Americans that still pledge loyalty to their revered monarch, that this administration has pulled the mother of all "cooking the books" schemes, and led us into a war that has cost this country the lives of over 3,000 young Americans. It's pathetic that these assholes are still running things, and you fucking know it!

Come on Mr. Powell, unlike your former employer, I know you have a conscience. You are an American hero...For God's sake...don't let these dickheads ruin your legacy.

"I get that"...

From Crooks & Liars...

This is Jon Stewart (and his writers) at his best. I especially like the line: "You know...the former President also had someone who served at his pleasure...I get that."

Ohhhh...And to think, a few years ago the world almost stopped spinning when Clinton got a blowjob in the Oval Office. Thank God Bush restored honor and integrity to the palace...I mean White House.

Tuesday

Word fun...

Ever since my favorite "culture warrior" informed the world that the war with "secular progressives" is on, I've been trying to figure out if I was one of the SP's who should be bracing himself for the onslaught of pain about to be inflicted upon himself. I can't remember how long ago the battle began, and quite frankly I have given up trying to figure out if I should be worried. So far nothing major has happened to me; although, someone sporting a nice big "W" sticker on their bumper did cut me off today. That could have been the precursor to the cultural shock and awe to come (tomorrow I may seek an alternative route to work, in case any culture warriors have been surveilling me). Any-who, I gave up trying to figure out if I was a "secular progressive" by studying the question directly. I resigned myself to being content with never knowing (something I rarely do, but this one is tough!) when I had a sort of epiphany. Instead of trying to solve the problem directly, find a completely different approach to the problem. Figure out what wouldn't be considered a secular progressive and see if I fit into any of those categories (I know...I know...It shouldn't have taken this long to figure this out, there's no excuse!).

So, I thought about how to do this for awhile, and decided to analyze the individual words themselves, "secular" and "progressive". To the dictionary and thesaurus!

  • Secular (one definition from Webster's will do) - adj. - of or relating to worldly things as distinguished from things relating to church and religion, not sacred or religious, temporal. SYNONYMS: earthbound, earthly, mundane, tellurian, telluric, temporal, terrence, terrestrial.
Hmmmmm. This is tougher than I thought it was going to be. I believe in a Supreme Being, but I'm also a big fan of the terra that makes the word terrestrial possible, which we are doing a pretty good job of destroying at present. (Holy shit! This thing is bigger than I thought. Seeing as how "culture warrior" #1, CW1 - that's a cool name, I might let him use it if he asks nicely - has declared war, and most of the large industrial corporations in this country are doing their damn-dest to destroy the planet - no, it isn't possible...Is it? Are the oil companies secretly in the battle on CW1's side?)

I need to figure this out. Got it. I believe one of the most important principles that led to the formation of this great nation is the belief in the separation of church and state, and as for my religious views, well that's nobody's fucking political business anyway, now is it? So, I guess I am socially secular (I might be a secular socialist - Oh God, this is not going the way I had hoped it would).

Maybe I can find some solace by examining the word "progressive". Again, one (or two) definitions should do here.

  • Progressive - adj. - (1) ahead of current trends or customs (2) not narrow or conservative in thought, expression, or conduct. SYNONYMS: advanced, forward, precocious, broad, broad-minded, liberal, open-minded, tolerant.
Hey alright! I like the sound of that. I consider myself at least some, if not all of those things. Finally! Some clarity. I certainly don't want to be "conservative or narrow in thought". (That would make my job a hell of a lot harder.) And I like tolerance and open-mindedness. Also, when I'm at a bar and I hear someone bitching about those "fucking liberals", I take it personally. I don't want to jump the gun though. I think I need to dig a little deeper, so I going to examine some of the antonyms of "progressive" for good measure. Let's see (from synonym dot com):

  • regressive (obvoius!), declining, deteriorating, failing, regressing, retrograde, unmodernized...
Okay...That's enough...I do not like the sound of that. Let's approach my dilemma using a Socratic methodology...I don't want to be considered a "secular progressive" because I am afraid of CW1 and the unimaginable amount of grief I would be forced to endure if I were to be labeled as such. Hopefully, I can infer my non-secular-progressiveness with further examination.

Investigation:

I do believe in a Supreme Being, but I also understand the necessity for the separation of church and state. So, am I a secular person...Hell, I already admitted to being socially secular. Dammit! Strike one.

I'd like to think that I support progress...That I'm not "narrow-minded" or intolerant. And as far as progression is concerned...I'm all for it. Cripes! Strike two.

This is not looking good folks!

Wait...what about the antonyms? Surely I can find relief. The opposite of being a "secular progressive" - The antonyms of "progressive" will absolve me. I know it...

(Silent reflection with the list...)

Shit! Shit! Shit! It appears that they won't. In no way shape or form do I want to be associated with words such as: "deteriorating", "declining", "failing", "unmodernized"...Oh crap!....I struck out!

I am...(sobbing right now!)...I am a "secular progressive". The horror. How will I tell my parents...my friends. I've outed myself as an S-P. What to do?

My head is spinning right now...I am on the other side CW1...I AM a SECULAR PROGRESSIVE...Wait a second...Hold on...That FELT good!...I AM A SECULAR PROGRESSIVE!!!!!!!

You know what...Fuck it...I'm a secular progressive and proud!!!

You know what...Roll up your dick-beaters, BOR...Let's dance. I'll see you on the line!

(Secret: Culture Warrior #1 - CW1 - is actually Bill O'Reilly, use this info carefully...THEY'RE WATCHING US!!!)

Monday

Bill Maher may be able to sleep tonight...

Because Bill O' is "lookin' out for him". It's rare that I laugh out loud when I'm by myself, but that comment from BOR brought on a hearty chuckle. (Caution: If you want to hear said comment you will have to watch the entire interview!)

I posted something yesterday about BOR's massive ego...listen to how he talks about "his enemies"who will use his comments to "attack him". Yes Bill, because the mainstream media is sooooooo! out to get you - they are all jealous of your success, and their soul purpose for living is to make you look bad (To his credit, he actually is a pretty successful "Culture Warrior", I'm still scratchin' my head on that one!). I wish I had the self control to watch his show because I'm sure I would get my daily giggles in without having to stay up to watch Stewart and Colbert; however, every time I turn on Faux News I get the sudden urge to destroy my television - so I guess I'm not going to bed before midnight anytime soon. Shucks!

SJIHBO!

No kidding...

People don't like foreigners coming into their homeland and telling them how to live? No shit? Thanks for clearing that up because if a stranger moved into my apartment tomorrow and started giving me orders I would've been okay with that if I hadn't already read your comments:

(From Crooks and Liars today via an article in the LA Times)

"This part of the world has an allergy against foreign presence," said a senior Pentagon official, adding that chances of success with a large U.S. force may be diminishing. "You have a window of opportunity that is relatively short. Your ability to influence this with a large U.S. force eventually gets to the point that it is self-defeating."

Yeah...your right senior pentagon official. I can think of another part of the world that once had an allergy against foreign presence...America circa 1776.

Soulless...

adjective: having no soul or no greatness or warmth of mind or feeling (from M&W)

Recently, news came out that a subsidiary of Halliburton, Halliburton Products and Services Limited, recently won a contract to drill for hydrocarbons in Iran. Today, this news story.

So let's get this straight. A subsidiary of a company formerly ran by the current Vice President (tenure at the helm, 1995 - 2000) is going to set up shop in a country that the Vice President has openly expressed interest in attacking militarily. And now they are moving their corporate offices to the Middle East for God knows what reasons (We can be confident that they aren't doing this to avoid paying American taxes...Why? Because the CEO said so, silly!). Does anyone see any conflict of interest arising here? And let's not forget how good of a job Halliburton's subsidiaries have done with the Iraq reconstruction's "no-bid contracts", with which they have managed to rip off billions of dollars from the American taxpayer.

This is so outrageous that I could see myself laughing at it if this was a movie plot - Except it isn't. What it is though, is business as usual for the current administration. The rampant back-slapping, cronyism, and hypocrisy that these shitheads have been able to get away with over the past six years is unfuckingbelievable and wrong on so many levels that it defies any rational argument. There is absolutely no justification for these actions (the drilling and such), other than these human beings (if they are in fact human, which I'm starting to believe less and less every passing day!) are "soulless".

Because of their insatiable greed, this country has become one of the most despised nations on the planet. And that is fucking sad considering the rest of the world has a hard time differentiating between the actions of a few self-imagined monarchs and the rest of the American citizens who don't sit a top a throne in the White House.

Remember when Americans could travel through Europe without having to fashion Canadian flags all over their bodies? Good times....Goooooood times!

Something To Think About...

I wish actual politicians had this sort of intestinal fortitude. Wouldn't that be something!

Sunday

The Weeks Best in Conservative Dumb-assery...

I was driving home from my parents house today trying to think of something original to write about, and to be honest, nothin' doin'. However, thanks to Ann Coulter and the dumb asses at CPAC (and a few others) I think I can make it through this post without being original. Shall we take a look...

1) This story has been discussed thoroughly this past week, and its getting a little old, but I would be remiss not to talk about it because gosh, it's that damn hilarious.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the story, two weeks ago there was a convention, Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), sponsored by the American Conservation Union, Young American's Foundation, and other conservative organizations. This is the conference where Ms. Coulter decided to drop the "f-word" when referring to John Edwards...she is soooooo classy! Anyway, at one point in the conference a 36 year old Marine corporal, Matt Sanchez, was presented with an award for apparently surviving an onslaught of hell purported by those anti-American evil bastard war protesters at...get ready for it...Columbia University (where Sanchez is a junior). Horrible, I know. I guess they called him some bad names (I am not condoning calling troops "baby-killers" by the way...protest the war people, not the soldiers.)

So if this is the first time your hearing about any of this your probably wondering: What's the story? So conservatives have hyped up a name calling incident and gave one of the wankers involved an award...But wait, if you're like most people who don't have their head in their butt, you may be thinking: Hold on a sec...this guy is 36, he is only a corporal in the Marines, and he is also only a junior in college. Isn't he a little long in the tooth for all this? Well here's the deal. It turns out the corporal Sanchez hasn't been completely forthcoming about his past life...In which he was known as "Rod Majors" - a gay porn star and male escort who is sporting a self-proclaimed (ear muff the kids!) "11-inch uncut monster cock". That's right folks...GAY PORN STAR (featured in such awe inspiring masterpieces like: Jawbreaker, Donkey Dick, and Glory Holes of Fame III ). Haaahahahahahahahahahahah! All, this is tooooo easy! Sweet Jesus I'm tellin' ya...If I could make stuff up that is as funny as this, I could quit my day job! Let's take a look at my favorite picture from CPAC and this awesome display of conservative dumb-assery:

Matt "the dirty" Sanchez and Coulter! Sometimes I feel like the universe is smiling at me.

So, I don't know...uh...I'm kind of at an impasse here, Ann. Hahahahahahaha! Love it!

(Update: It looks like newspapers carrying Ann's column have started to drop her like a bad habit. Thank goodness that someone is finally holding her accountable for her disgusting vitriol!)

Moving on...

2) Shakespeare's Sister titles these guys "Fuckheads", and I couldn't agree more - so I'm not going to bother trying to come up with an alternative description or add anything more than these dicks are an embarrassment to humanity. Hey shitheads! Do us all a favor and get the fuck out of the gene pool...................Seriously.

3) Scooter got convicted of being an asshole...Wait, I mean lying, and it took all of about two minutes for the administration's second set of press secretaries at Fox Noise to start talking about a pardon. There's a big fucking surprise! Though, it was nice to see them talking about something other than Anna Nicole Smith or a crazy astronaut for a change.

OMG!!!...they actually reported real news for once, something new for Fox. So it's understandable that they made a few mistakes during their first at bat in the reality box (be sure to check out the Newshounds links!). Oh, for the record: Lying to the F.B.I. and a federal grand jury is still a crime. Give it time though, and I am sure Bush will issue a signing statement that makes it okay for members of the executive branch to lie to whomever they see fit. That way, we can be sure to avoid another high ranking administration official being charged with a crime and pretty much exposing the inner workings of the office of the vice president, which apparently runs about the same way as a high school girls locker bank. We can't reasonably defend ourselves...so we make up rumors about the competition (in this case a war critic) and sabotage his wife's career. Nice!


4) Bill O'Reilly proves he's still a fucking moron. Bill, we get it...you're an idiotic pathological liar whose ego is so large that it has its own zip code, but for Christ's sake...Is there anything that you won't try to spin to make yourself look like an innocent bystander who gets picked on by everyone else in the mainstream media. Listen, when you make comments to the effect of a teenage kid might have enjoyed being kidnapped, held captive for four years, and more than likely sexually abused...you might not be the best person to speak at a fund raiser for missing children. Just a thought. I could be wrong...No, no, I'm definitely right about this one. Bill O'Reilly is a jackass.

5) This one really is starting to piss me off and I kinda already covered the Libby thing, but I have one more thing to say (and this isn't originally my idea, I think I heard it first from Keith Olbermann). Last week I saw or heard clips of both Da Prez and the VP saying that they feel bad for Libby's family and they feel bad for Scooter as well. Boo-friggin'-hoo! How about apologizing for ruining the life of a highly experienced CIA agent and making up a bunch of lies about her husband? That apology doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell, now, does it? These guys are real class acts...

Later folks!



Love this song......

7/7/07 The new album is on the way!!!!!!!!! No D'arcy however.

Thanks to Late Nite C&L (Silent Patriot) for reminding me that this is one of the best songs ever written!

Saturday

This isn't good...

There is a new Rolling Stone article that paints an unbelievably grim scenario for the future of Iraq. Here are some of the comments that the RS panel made when speaking of the "best case scenario" for Iraq:

  • Zbigniew Brzezinski: If we are willing to engage with all of Iraq's neighbors -- including Iran -- in a regional effort to contain the violence, the best we can hope for is an Iraq that is politically passive but hostile toward America.
  • Michael Scheuer: Even in the best-case scenario, the disaster we're seeing now is nothing compared to the disaster that we'll see after we leave. The real issue here is American interest: The longer we stay, the more people we get killed. I don't think the longer we stay, the better we make Iraq. Probably the reverse.
  • McPeak: You have to hope that Iraq devolves into a federal state with three strong regional governments. But that has its downsides: The Turks would go berserk. They would see Kurdistan as a base for the Kurdish insurgency inside Turkey, which has bedeviled them like the IRA in Ireland or the Basques in Spain. And if Iraq devolves into three separate "stans," then it's going to be pretty tough for Sunnistan not to provide a retirement home for Al Qaeda agents. It's got warts all over it -- but among the "don't call my baby ugly" possibilities in this world, that looks the prettiest.
These are the best case scenarios? Wow! Not good! Now, I wonder how the right wing spin machine will confront these statements. I am so fucking sick of hearing the Bush apologists and self proclaimed "troop supporters" claim that anyone who disagrees with the Administration's Iraq policy is "emboldening the terrorists". If we are to believe assholes like Sean Hannity and the like, Richard Clarke (Clinton's former counter-terrorism czar, the one who the Bush Administration marginalized to the point where he just finally quit, the same guy who had this to say regarding the warning signs before 9/11) is helping the terrorists. Give me a friggin' break. When is the thirty percent of the country that still supports Da Prez going to wake up and realize that the current neo-conservative ideology driving this disastrous war is the worst thing that has ever happened to the United States. Probably never, as long as "infotainment" organizations like the Fox Noise channel are allowed to spread their ridiculous propaganda without any ramifications.

Here's the problem: There are to many people in this country that have become so apathetic, so used to a lifestyle of ultra-convenience, that when they hear commentary from the aforementioned shithead, they just accept that as fact. Because, and God forbid it, if they actually wanted to check on the validity of such comments, they might have to pick up a newspaper and read something other than the local police report and sports page - or get their fat asses up off the couch, turn on the computer, go to a web page other than "Movie poop shoot dot com", and use "The Google" to do a little research.

It is all our fault that things are currently the way they are. After 9/11 we were all so scared of the future and eager to get revenge on the bastards who attacked us, that we let the republican congress and the administration create a sort of pseudo-democracy in which even when, five years after the attacks, the country woke up and realized what a total disaster the Republican party is, we now can do little to change things. But that doesn't mean that we can't do anything. It just means that now we really have to work our asses off to restore this country to a state that the founding fathers envisioned.

This may sound a little corny but I'm going to say it anyway: In the movie "Gladiator", Russell Crowe says this - "Marcus Aurelius had a dream that was Rome, Proximo, and this is not it". Well, George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, James Madison, etc. had a dream that was the United States of America, and trust me, THIS IS NOT IT!

So the next time you hear some right-wing-nut reciting a bunch of neo-conservative talking points that they probably don't know a damn thing about anyway, do me a favor, don't let them go unchecked. Get in their faces and let them know that they are full of shit and for God's sake, make sure you go into the fight with a full clip of brain ammunition.

Thanks...and have a cold one tonight! May I suggest:


HOLY CRAP!!! A twenty-four oz. PBR. I gotta get me one of these!

Friday

Holy Sh*t!!!

Glenn Beck has so completely lost it that "unhinged" just doesn't do justice to the level of his psychosis. I'm no psychologist, but I think the correct clinical diagnosis would be that Mr. Beck is suffering from bat-shit-craziness!

On a serious note: It's unfortunate that a windbag like Beck is given a platform as large as CNN Headline News from which he can spew his lunacy. It's high time CNN gets rid of this moron.

Is anyone surprised?

I thought I was done for the week, but then this story comes in via the Associated Press...

"Gingrich had affair during Clinton probe"

Pop quiz: Read my profile and then try to figure out why I am fighting off a massive aneurysm right now. There are your conservative family values - let's impeach a guy for getting a blow job and at the same time have an affair. How the hell can people bring themselves to vote for dickbags like Newt? By the way, isn't this the same guy who pressed his first wife for a divorce while she was in a hospital bed diagnosed with cancer? Oh, and for the record, saying a vote for someone like said dickbag is better than a vote for a Democrat is no longer an acceptable one line retort - from now on, you have to justify why it is better!

(h/t to Stephanie at DU)

Friday afternoon fun

I have a dream that one day, human being and fish can coexist peacefully...Oh...and remember...Failure will not be a success!

Enjoy!

One finger victory salute...

My speech to the nation...

Thanks Joe...

I wish I was there...

Global Warm..Huh? (This one never gets old!)

C-ya next week!

Good grief

You know, as someone who considers himself a scientist in training, this type of thing really pisses me off!

There is a thing called "Academic Integrity" which has obviously escaped the comprehension of the Bush Administration and the so called "scientists" that they employ. What a joke and a disgrace to the scientific community. I especially like this comment: “This sure sounds like a Soviet-style directive to me,” Ms. Williams said. Ms. Williams, it is a Soviet-style directive, and until these scientists, who continuously allow themselves to be pushed around by the current administration, grow a set, the truth will never be told.

Thoughts on the former Bill of Rights...

I'm feeling pretty lazy today, so I didn't punctuate this with the links that such a post deserves. That is where the human brain and "the Google" come in. Good Luck!

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

This is probably the most frequently discussed freedom in the Bill of Rights. Rather than link to a bunch of stories that convey this administrations willingness to completely disregard this amendment, please let me indulge my own personal beliefs on this issue. I am not an atheist – I don’t believe that our existence…our ability to love, to feel compassion, as well as to hate and kill – is an accident. I am a firm believer in the Big Bang Theory, the Theory of Evolution, and the Theory of Gravity. There is a plethora of data that strengthen these theories; however, there is no data that proves that God exists. That is where faith comes in…and I have faith. Call me old fashion, but I truly believe in a God that created the Universe. Although, as far as the Constitution is concerned, my belief in this matter doesn’t really matter at all. “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.”. It doesn’t get much clearer than that. S-E-P-A-R-A-T-I-O-N. So, take your “secular progressive”, “godless liberals” slander and wankery, and shove it straight up your unholy asses (I’m talkin’ to you Bill O’Reilly and Ann Coultergeist). I won’t think in your church if you don’t pray in my school. You want your kids to learn about religion in school…send them to a religious institution.

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Does this mean we can all get a nuclear weapon? (Okay, I stole that from Michael Moore) Although, I do think that people kill people…not guns. A very wise man once said to me, “When it comes to killing, man is at his most creative.” If you really want to kill someone, a gun is nothing more than a convenience.

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

I got nothin’ here. I’m pretty sure this is the only one they haven’t managed to rape yet, but give’em a chance…they still have 21 months. Come to think of it, the Walter Reed clusterfuck is pretty much the exact opposite of quartering soldiers. They are moving in the wrong direction.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

This is too easy…moving on. WAIT! For those of you who haven’t been paying attention…NSA warrant less wire tapping approved by his highness combined with a provision to the Patriot Act that allows the government to open citizens’ mail without warrants. Awesome!

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Again…this is too fucking easy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not taking the terrorists’ side here; however, the government has held people in prison for several years now…people who have been charged with no crime. People who have not been given access to an attorney, or for that matter, access to the outside world in general. They have been “coerced” into witnessing against themselves…they have been deprived of liberty and property (God only knows how many have been deprived of life)...and they have been detained without any due process. I’m not suggesting that we liberate Gitmo, or that we free all “enemy combatants”, but I am suggesting that we at least give them their day in court. Because, in my opinion, as long as we hold these people without giving them a chance to defend themselves legally, we are no better than the regimes for which they supposedly fought and this whole document (the Constitution) might as well be just another “god-damned piece of paper”. Unfortunately for the Prez, there are many people in this country who disagree with him on that one.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Idem. Also, with provisions to the Patriot Act, as well as, the Military Commissions Act, the Attorney General now has the ability to charge anyone he wants with providing material support to terrorists. So let’s dig into this “providing material support” charge a little bit. Last weekend Seymore Hersh wrote this little gem of an article in last week’s “New Yorker”. Read the article and control your breathing to prevent heart attack / stroke.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Idem. At this point I could have linked to several hundred stories about how these last three amendments have been violated, not for foreigners, but for American citizens. But, in the interest of promoting knowledge and investigation, I’ll let that up to the reader. Leave me give you a starting point: Jose Padilla.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Two words: water boarding. Ibid Jose Padilla. Btw, does anyone remember when Sean Hannity said water boarding looks like it would be fun? Is that dude really a human being or is he some kind of cyborg, developed by the GOP to make Americans dumber?

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Kind of like the right to marry whomever you choose? I am a straight man (a redneck at that) in central Pennsylvania who might be a tad outspoken on this one. However, I defy anyone to tell me how to men or women getting married is going to affect their straight marriage. Not gonna happen…Let’s move on to argument number two: “Marriage is defined in the Bible as being between a man and a woman.” Okay, let me direct your attention to Amendment I. I’ll give you this…I will say that I don’t think gay people should be allowed to get married if you give up all the benefits given to you by the government for being in a heterosexual marriage. Get back to me on that one!

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

Puh – lease! Actually, this could quite possibly be the most poignant amendment today. You see, for these fucknuts to make amendments regarding gay marriage, abortion, etc., all of the states have to approve said amendment in an election. So as long as we got California and the northeastern United States, we’ll be okay. Which brings up the question of global warming…I will save that for later.