It is almost unbelievable how quickly a search on the Google can produce such a cornucopia of Conservative hypocrisy. I posted one of these beauties earlier, but I tell ya'...I just can resist commenting on damn near every single one of these statements...Let's break it down (my bolds)!!!
(Huge props to the madman/woman at democrats dot org who put all this together!)
(Note: I understand the concept of linear-time, and that it doesn't really make sense to compare these past comments about Kosovo to current points of view on Iraq...This is meant to be satirical as well as to point out what a total bunch of dickheads these guys are! Remember, these quotes are from 1999, and the positions referenced are from the same year.)
Let's get rolling...
Then-GOP Presidential candidate Dan Quayle: “What has happened is we have taken a political crisis and a humanitarian crisis and escalated it into a full military crisis. The handling of the situation in the Balkans reflects the inattention of the Clinton Administration to foreign policy. … You have the same situation [as
Oh! Dan Quayle...It's funny you should bring up Vietnam. Why is it funny you ask? Because every time a Democrat compares Iraq to Vietnam, people of your ilk shit a brick. By the way Dan, where the hell have you been? Still working on the potato spelling bee I presume. I'm thinking of two words put together to form slang...what are they??? Oh yeah...first word "dumb" - second word "ass".
Then-GOP Presidential candidate Lamar Alexander: “Once we've started bombing we should bomb aggressively and consistently and for a long time to try and bring Milosevic to the table. But the president needs to tell us the rest of the story. Which is that if we put peace-keeping American forces in Kosovo they are going to be there for a long time, maybe as long as they have been in Korea, 25 to 50 years; and if they are harmed as they were in Somalia, then we are going to put other forces in there to make sure that they are safe.” [Fox News, “Hannity & Colmes,” 3/26/99]
Yeah...Good friggin' thing we don't do dumb shit anymore like putting peace keeping forces in a country with absolutely no clear cut mission at hand and no timetable for withdraw. Uhhhh??? Oh, wait!!! Not "peace-keepers" - the "SURGE". My bad Lamar, My bad.
Then-GOP Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan: “And what are we doing bombing and attacking this tiny country that has never attacked the United States to rip away from them a province that does not belong to us? I believe it is an unjust war. I think we have failed in our strategic objectives, and it is now becoming basically no longer a war for Kosovo but a war to save NATO’s credibility and NATO’s face. And that does not justify sending in an army of 100,000 American ground troops into the Balkans.” [NBC, “Meet the Press,” 4/25/99]
I don't know Pat. What a terrible idea! What would justify "sending an army of" 140,000 "American ground troops" into a country that has "never attacked the United States"? (Sidebar here folks: I just figured it out. We liberals don't get the big picture for Iraq. You see, Clinton fucked up because there was no monetary value for his corporate donors [or Al Gore...Ahem... Darth...dammit!...Dick Cheney] in sending troops into Kosovo. I mean the only thing that we got out of that conflict was an end to a mass genocide - the likes of which the world had not seen since the Holocaust. On the flip side, people are getting filthy fucking rich as a result of this Iraq thing. And don't forget...because Bill Kristol will come get you in the middle of the night if you do!...Saddam and Osama were BFF's - aside from that whole hating each other thing.) Unjustified war in Iraq? I think not!
Then-GOP Presidential candidate Gary Bauer: “The President has not demonstrated he’s got a way to solve a crisis or conflict that literally has been raging since 1350. … They treated each other with an incredible amount of inhumanity. That’s a terrible thing. It offends our conscience. But how in the world are American boys flying over Kosovo dropping bombs going to somehow stop something that’s been going on for 600 years?” [Des Moines Register, 4/17/99]
True, true. I have a question, though. How is sending an additional 21,500+ troops into Iraq going to solve a conflict that has been going on for almost 1400 years? Take your time and get back to me Gary.
GOP House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL): “Many may question the path that has taken us to this point. I have my own questions about the long term strategy of this campaign.” [Dallas Morning News, 3/25/99]
I have a "long term strategy" question about your sanity you crazy asshole. While the military is engaged in a quagmire in Iraq, you spend your days covering up a scandal involving a pedophile and congressional pages. N-I-C-E!
House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-TX): “Mr. Speaker, this is a very difficult speech for me to give, because I normally, and I still do, support our military and the fine work that they are doing. But I cannot support a failed foreign policy. … But before we get deeper embroiled into this Balkan quagmire, I think that an assessment has to be made of the Kosovo policy so far. President Clinton has never explained to the American people why he was involving the U.S. military in a civil war in a sovereign nation, other than to say it is for humanitarian reasons, a new military/foreign policy precedent. … Was it worth it to stay in Vietnam to save face? What good has been accomplished so far? Absolutely nothing.” [Congressional Record, “Removal of United States Armed Forces from the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia,” 4/28/99]
I have nothing but sheer and utter disdain for this man. What a fucking drama queen. “Mr. Speaker, this is a very difficult speech for me to give..." because I've been up all night committing felonies. I hope I don't disappoint anyone, but for my own sake I'm not going any further with this one. Otherwise, I'd be up for three days straight. Damn, it's hard to resist. Maybe I'll come back to this later.
Oh God no! I forgot this guy doesn't shut the fuck up...ever! (He's still going on these days - shouldn't he be in jail already?)
(Boo-yah, John Amato and C&L crew! Above links are all thanks to Crooks & Liars!)
More from Tommy:
House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-TX): The deployment of U.S. military forces in Kosovo is “just another bad idea in a foreign policy without a focus.” [Editorial, Saint Paul Pioneer Press (Minnesota), 3/17/99]
It's a bad idea for me to be writing about you Tom...I think every time I read or hear something you say can be equated to smoking a cigarette...It takes several minutes off my life. But hey, at least your buddy Dubya doesn't have problem with focusing on foreign policy...mostly due to the fact that he doesn't know what those words mean.
House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-TX): “America needs to quickly change directions and leave behind this chilling comedy of errors that has defined our foreign policy.” [Copley News Service, 3/22/99]
Huh, "...comedy of errors.."? Yeah, that whole thing was a fucking riot!
Sharp, blinding pain! Make it stop!
House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-TX): “First of all, it's using NATO for the first time to attack a sovereign nation. … It’s also one more adventure in a whole line of adventures of failed foreign policy.” [“Fox News Sunday,” 3/14/99]
If stopping an entire race of people from being wiped off the face of the Earth can be called an adventure, what the hell do we call the war in Iraq? An expedition perhaps? By the way, the pain continues...
House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-TX): “I had the utmost confidence in President Bush. He had laid the groundwork, and our national interest in the Middle East was clear. In the gulf we had a country that was invaded [Kuwait], and an oil interest to defend. … [In the Balkans] we have a president I don’t trust, who has proven my reason for not trusting him: had no plan. We have a civil war that was falsely described as a huge humanitarian problem, when in comparison to other places, it was nothing.” [Washington Post, 5/4/99]
Okay, I'm done.
Tom Delay is a disgraceful, sycophantic human being. Teach your children to stay the hell away from people like him. No conscience, no soul, no compassion - only self-serving greed and political lust that finally caught up and bit him in the ass.
Senate Assistant Majority Leader Don Nickles (R-OK): “I think he’s [Clinton] gotten us into a mess. I don’t think you can bomb a country into signing a peace agreement.” [Washington Post, 4/13/99]
Can we bomb one into ending a civil war?
Senate Assistant Majority Leader Don Nickles (R-OK): “The Administration, and NATO as a whole, greatly miscalculated the response Slobodan Milosevic would have to a bombing campaign. As I predicted, the Administration has escalated what was guerilla warfare into a much more serious conflict. The bombings have unleashed an evil reign and resulted in a humanitarian disaster.” [Senator Don Nickles, Press Release, 4/21/99]
Damn near the exact opposite of Iraq. Defeated the largest, most powerful military in the Middle East in approximately three weeks and bring a 25+ year evil reign to an end...Mission Accomplished. Four years later...guerilla warfare and humanitarian disaster with no apparent end in sight. Don Nickles is bizzaro-Nostradamus.
Senate Assistant Majority Leader Don Nickles (R-OK): “I want NATO to be credible, but for crying out loud, when you are so arrogant to say here is our wisdom, here is this accord, we determined this is in your best interest and you must sign it or else we are going to bomb you--I stated in my speech on the bombing resolution that I don't think you can bomb a country into submission or into signing an agreement.” [Congressional Record, Senator Don Nickles, 5/3/99]
Yeah...That's almost as arrogant as believing Congress has no oversight of the Executive Branch, ignoring the will of an overwhelming majority of the people you represent, disregarding the Geneva Convention, trashing habeas corpus, spying on American citizens without proper search warrants, telling the U.N. to essentially "fuck off", firing U.S. attorneys for political purposes, threatening to veto a war spending bill that passed both houses of Congress (we already covered that one though), outing a covert CIA agent to get back at her husband...See where this is going?
Senator (and staunch global warming denier) James Inhofe (R-OK): “(P)resident [Clinton] has decimated our ability to defend ourselves.” [USA Today, 4/5/99]
You've decimated your ability to ever be taken seriously by anyone capable of rational thought, which pretty much leaves you with thirty percent of the population.
Senator Judd "I don't understand what a trillion is" Gregg (R-NH): “I don’t believe that a ground war in Kosovo using American troops is going to be very successful.” [NBC, “Meet the Press,” 4/18/99] (Link from Democratic Underground)
I don't believe that an American Senator doesn't know what a trillion is. Seriously, you can figure that out with a little deductive reasoning for Cripe's sake! Consequently, I now believe that we should require all Senators to take a fifth grade math test (and pass it!) before they are allowed to hold office.
Representative Randy “Duke” Cunningham (convicted felon) (R-CA): “This is the most inept foreign policy in the history of the United States.” [Washington Times, 4/29/99]
You're the most inept criminal in the history of the United States. Sad story...highly decorated Vietnam pilot now spending his days making license plates and tennis shoes in federal prison. I guess that's what you get for drawing up a "bribe menu" for your lobbyists (not to mention the prostitution allegations). Honestly Duke, a bribe menu? You're an idiot!
Could it be any more fitting that this is the last dumbass comment on the list:
Senator Richard Lugar (R-IN): “This is President Clinton’s war, and when he falls flat on his face, that’s his problem.” [New York Times, 5/4/99]
Bill Clinton remains one of the most popular president's in history...not just in this country, but all over the world. In contrast, Dubya has fallen so flat on his face that if you heat it up and give him a glass of water you could iron clothes with his head (Be thankful I changed that last sentence from the original, which was: "Dubya has fallen so flat on his face that it now actually has a negative curvature"...Not funny...I know. I'm a scientist and a dork, so I couldn't resist putting that one in for my peeps! All three of 'em. THAT'S WHAT I DO!).
Sweet, sweet irony...I heart you.
Peace out folks!