Friday

Friday Afternoon Fun...

Here we go...

I debated for a long time about whether or not I was even going to comment on the Senator Craig thing, mainly because every other political blogger/news outlet in the country was delivering on point analysis (snicker). But then I thought I'd better say something. Because a member of the "family values" party getting caught up in a sex scandal is an event that comes along only something like once every two weeks, and I didn't want to get caught with my pants down (Ha...Alright I'm done). Anywho, I found this little gem via TRex's Late Late Night FDL:



Oh, God! That's funny.

Jeebus. This guy just can't stop with the press conferences (another Schecter find):



Larry Craig...British?

It seem to recall something else happening this week...What was that? I definitely know it wasn't nearly as big as a story as a U.S. Senator getting charged with a misdemeanor...Oh, yeah! The frickin' ATTORNEY GENERAL RESIGNED!!! Kudos to the MSM on that one (MSM = main-stream media from now on). Here's TPM's top ten unforgettable Gonzo moments. (I haven't decided if this is totally hilarious or tragically melancholy yet...Help me out.)



Love it! I suck so hard, even I'm surprised!

And for the sake of something non-political, and the fact that the NFL kicks off next Thursday night, AND the fact that I have the Bear's defense in fantasy football, here they are Bill Schwartzky Superfans:



Well, that's all for this week folks...I gotta get the hell out of town. So until next week...

Peace out and have a awesome Labor Day!

Quick hit...

I don't get this. CNN is reporting that "several well-placed" GOP sources are indicating that Senator Larry Craig may resign today. So, let's get this straight:



- Pleading guilty to disorderly conduct for lewd behavior in a public bathroom and you must resign. (Craig - R - ID)

- Admitting to being serviced by prostitutes and having a diaper fetish - the Grand Ol' Party stands right their beside you screaming, "This man's personal life is none of your business." (Vitter - R - LA)

That's some compassionate conservatism.

Attaturk, what do you think?

Thursday

Give me a break...

Rightwing extremist assclown Robert Bluey (via Howie Kein) regarding the Senator Craig affair:

"How very sad for a party that once stood for moral values..."


I would like to modify that sentence and add a little truthiness:

"How very sad for a party that once got a majority of the country to believe that they stood for moral values while they were either in a side room of the Capitol Building giving hand jobs to each other, or on the news preaching about evil democratic ideals eroding the nation's families while actually they themselves were secretly destroying the environment, screwing the poor and middle class, misleading the American public into war..etc..."


Shouldn't it be clear to these dumbasses by now who actually stands for moral values. Would you rather be lead by someone who doesn't care how YOU live YOUR life, or by someone who wants to force you to live your life by THEIR supposed moral standards while THEY are out living in a "Do as I say, not as I do" dreamworld?

Hey...it's your choice. After all, this is America.

On a lighter note, Cliff Schecter informs us that:

Larry Craig Just Held Another Press Conference!





(Note: The video above was originally posted by Howie Klein in the same article I was discussing at the top.)

Tucker Carlson: Gay Ass Kicker...

Forgive me for questioning Tucker's gravitas in discussing an incident from his youth where he was supposedly "solicited", no, no...wait - "sexually assaulted" by a Senator Craig (R - Idaho...see how we do the Faux News) like predator. Plenty of people, who are much better writers then myself, have already posted great commentary about Bow-Tie Boy's statements (and then his cover-your-ass clarification). In case you haven't seen it, here is the clip:



Now, if Tucker truly was sexually assaulted and successfully escaped, why the hell would he return to the scene of the alleged crime some twenty-five minutes later with a friend. Tucker, as you saw in the clip, says he went back with a friend and "smashed the guys head" off a bathroom stall. But then later clarifies writing:

Twenty-five minutes later, a friend of mine and I returned to the men's room. The man was still there, presumably waiting to do to someone else what he had done to me. My friend and I seized the man and held him until a security guard arrived.


So which is it, Tuck. Did you go there and kick a little gay ass like you said on TV, because I'm pretty sure that's a hate crime bud (I know there way no provisions for attacks against homosexuals back then, I'm just saying), or did you go there and play Citizen Dick Detective until the real law officers could arrive on scene? I'm guessing neither...I'm guessing you're a pathological liar:

Several bloggers have characterized this is a sort of gay bashing. That's absurd, and an insult to anybody who has fought back against an unsolicited sexual attack. I wasn't angry with the man because he was gay. I was angry because he assaulted me.


Again...So you wait twenty-five minutes, and then go back with a friend and then you assault a man who you allege assaulted you TWENTY-FIVE minutes earlier. Tucker you're an asshat liar.

Then funniest thing about this whole bizarre incident is (And I'm willing to take any bets on this): I'm highly suspicious that Tucker Carlson could fight his way out of a wet paper bag armed with a machete and a spiked baseball bat. I could very well be wrong though, he could be a championship kick fighter, but I doubt it - I'm mean for crap's sake, the guy was thirty-six years old before he stopped wearing a bow-tie on national television.

Quick hit...

Job opening for attorney general with credibility

No shit? Well, good luck.

Wednesday

Faux News' "Giant Brass Balls"...

You've got to give these credit for some creativity and stellar wordplay on this one. That being said, I think their antics and all around total dearth of journalistic integrity is despicable (Have I ever mentioned that before?), and I wish that Democrats would stop paying any kind of attention to the channel, completely. Without further ado, here is what I'm talking about (via C&L):

FOXNews Isn’t Sure What Party Senator Larry Craig Belongs To

How unbelievably convenient!

Take it away Logan:

We all know that FOXNews is famous for switching D’s to R’s when Republicans get into trouble or they don’t like what they hear from one, but they changed up their tactics in the case of Senator Lavvy Craig’s potty scandal. Instead of assigning him to the bad, naughty, nasty Democratic party, in the below article from their website FOX chose to completely leave out his political affiliation altogether. That’s right, nowhere in the article will you see the word REPUBLICAN attached to Senator Larry Craig’s name. The article is also quotes numerous Republicans stating their disdain for the Senator’s actions — attempting to give the impression they weren’t talking about a fellow Republican. Brilliant!


I agree! Those cheeky monkeys.

Tuesday

Great Rolling Stone Piece...

If you get a chance, check this article in Rolling Stone written by Matt Taibbi: "The Great Iraq Swindle". It's long, so I wouldn't try getting through it at work.

And if you haven't already done so, I would definitely recommend watching the documentary: "Iraq for Sale". Watch and read those, and then see how pissed you get the next time Bill Kristol (or some other chickenhawk shithead) goes on Faux News screaming bloody murder at those of us (~%70 of the country) who have the audacity to criticize the war, pre-war intelligence, no-bid-contracts, private security firms, etc.

Monday

Good Lord Nuge...

Wow! The Nuge has gone completely batshit. This kind of ranting is reminiscent Hitler just before the Reichstag burnt down. Seriously, you need some serious help Neddy boy.

via Dispatches From the Culture Wars



Can you imagine if democrat were to say something like this? I mean for crap's sake, AT&T just censored a Pearl Jam concert because Eddie was saying not so nice things about the current administration. But hell, he didn't intimate that anybody needs to suck on the end of an automatic weapon.

Update: I just found this via C&L, and this pretty much sums up the wingnut hypocrisy I've come to endear so much:

So Ted Nugent roams a concert stage while toting automatic weapons, calls Barack Obama “a piece of —–” and says he told Obama to suck on one of his machine-guns. He also calls Hillary Clinton a “worthless bitch” and Dianne Feinstein a “worthless whore.”

That Nugent, he’s a man’s man. He talks the talk and walks the walk, right?

Except when it was time to register for the draft during the Vietnam era. By his own admission, Nugent stopped all forms of personal hygiene for a month and showed up for his draft board physical in pants caked with his own urine and feces, winning a deferment. Creative!


Lovely.

Friday

Friday Afternoon Fun...

Benny Hinn...Good Lord, can't you just rapture this guy already?



Crazy UCF people...you guys gotta watch this whole clip..."An anus up your rectum"?



Stewie is going to hell...



Oh...this never gets old...



Peace out folks.

Thursday

Unbelievably, A second WTF moment...

Again from feministing, via Ann...

This kind of shite just absolutely baffles me. This is all from feministing (aside from the non-blockquote stuff):

What if your wife, even after graduating the prestigious homemaking course at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary with a degree in ladylike submission, still won't behave? Uber-conservative Christian patriarchs everywhere now have a solution!

Give her a good spanking. For how to incorporate this into your marriage, see the "Christian Domestic Discipline" site. Unlike the Baptists for Brownback campaign Jen wrote about awhile ago, this site appears to be legit. Not a parody.

A Christian Domestic Discipline marriage is one that is set up according to Biblical standards; that is, the husband is the authority in the household. The wife is submissive to her husband as is fit in the Lord and her husband loves her as himself. He has the ultimate authority in his household, but it is tempered with the knowledge that he must answer to God for his actions and decisions. He has the authority to spank his wife for punishment, but in real CDD marriages this is taken very seriously and usually happens only rarely. CDD is so much more than just spanking. It is the husband loving the wife enough to guide and teach her, and the wife loving the husband enough to follow his leadership. A Christian marriage embodies true romance and a Christian man a true hero.


My favorite is this particularly egregious gem of a line: "It is the husband loving the wife enough to guide and teach her, and the wife loving the husband enough to follow his leadership. That one (for me at least) is the one that really made me shit in my cereal. So? What? According to these fuckheads, a wife's job is to be guided and taught by her husband, and this is how a husband shows his love for his wife? By guiding her and teaching her how to obey even his most ridiculous request. Yeah, this Manson-family-like-ideology seems like a real great idea - I mean hell, it worked out really well for those guys.

On a much, much lighter note, the site also features a store... which sells crotchless pantaloons.


"Crotchless pantaloons"...W-O-W!

That makes me wonder what kind of porn these folks are in to. Let's not go there.

Well, I gotta cut it off here; otherwise I will be up for the rest of the night babbling on about how absurd this shit is.

On a final note (more of a question - definitely a question): Why would anyone want to marry someone that s/he is not going to learn anything from? Such an idea doesn't really appeal to me.

I can't believe I still let myself get so pissed off by these evangelical fundamentalists.

P.S.: BTW - If you read the entire post from feministing you'll see where I'm coming from here: I don't seem to recall anything from the Gospels about beating your wife (or anyone for that matter!) into submission. Kind of seems contradictory to that whole "Turn the other cheek" modality.

Today's WTF Moment brought to us by...

via Feministing

Irianto Syafiuddin, of the Indramayu district in Indonesia, who recently decided that in order to keep students from having premarital sex, he would force all the young ladies in his district to take - virginity tests.

He thought of the lovely idea after a video of two high school students having sex was being circulated via cell phones.


Oh yeah, God forbid two high school students were having sex. Good thing we don't have to worry about this kind of thing here in America where all federal government sex education funding goes to "abstinence only" programs. Because we all know how gosh darn successful those are!

Wednesday

But it's Executive Privilege...

via C&L and The Raw Story

Bush’s Top Forestry Official Facing Contempt Charges - Jail

National security is hinged on the ability of presidential appointees never having to answer any questions under any kind of oath.

Seriously folks, if this guy is forced to appear in court...the terrorists will win.

This sounds familiar...

Here we go again. Good...Great...Grand...Wonderful!

via Fox Attacks!



I've said this before and I'll say it again: I cannot watch Faux News for more than 60 consecutive seconds without feeling an urge to break something. I'm serious, commercials included - I can't even watch the freakin' commercials! Tad extreme much? Quite possibly, maybe I'll work on that in the future, but for now, I'm staying with the lovely ladies over at Newshounds and Olbie (That's Keith Olbermann).

Update: (Yeah...I definitely fucked up by putting "This sounds familiar" as the title while the screenshot says "Sound Familiar"...My frickin' bad.)

Jeebus this is pathetic...

Bushie can't see the protesters...WHHHAAAAAA!

Not much more can be said here than what Shakes has already versed, so why don't we all just jump over there and get ready for the pity party. Away.

Tuesday

Fred Barnes and My love/hate relationship...

Ol' Freddy is one of those rarest of breeds...A human being that can make me absolutely furious with the utterance of one sentence, and then in the next, have me hysterically laughing at his sheer jack-assed-ness. A friend sent me a link to Fred's op-ed piece in today's WSJ, and I'll be damned if Fred hasn't gone and dunnit again! I'll share (my emphasis):

(A special h/t to my buddy Sacit for pointing me to the article. How he can manage to read the WSJ opinion section everyday is a source of great mystery for me.)

Well, he sure as crap doesn't waste any time diving head first into the fuckery...

Let's start with events. The debate over whether a war gone bad in Iraq was the primary cause of sweeping Republican losses in last year's midterm election will never be resolved. Clearly the war hurt, more than a little. Just as clearly, a turnaround in Iraq would help enormously.


The war didn't help anyone win, but no Fred, exit polls showed that corruption and general sucktastic suckiness were the main reasons the Republicans lost the 2006 election.

But even if the "surge" is as successful as it appears it might be, there's a problem. While public support has increased recently, the war still faces deep-seated opposition.


Well, pigs might fly out of my ass while I'm typing this post. And where the hell is he getting this information that "...public support has increased recently." Vomit in mouth.

Grass roots reconciliation (in Iraq) is...spreading.


That's because in areas that were once diversely populated with both Sunni and Shia, one side (usually the majority) has literally run out of people to ethnically cleanse...Yeah that's some fucking reconciliation. Ass.

Mr. Bush can't erase the memory of his inept handling of Hurricane Katrina. But if another disaster occurred and the president responded effectively, that would counteract the memory of his Katrina performance.


The handling of a disaster bit...that is just frickin' precious. And what would Bush's "smooth" handling of the disaster entail. Declaration of martial law, clergy response teams, Gitmo like detention centers built on American soil, suspension of the next election, declaring himself as "president for life"??? Just wondering. So the Republicans should hope for another Katrina-like disaster? Aside from the fact that comments like those are the some of the most culturally insensitive things I have ever heard, where does Freddy boy think this sudden "surge" of competence is going to come from? Seriously, is it just going to materialize out of some previously undiscovered dimension? Fred - news flash: This administration could fuck up a one float parade. ASS!


When General Petreaus reports next month on progress in Iraq...


Wait a second...didn't we already discover (like...yesterday) that the savior of the Middle East Petreaus isn't even writing the report. The White House is. Jeebus man, even Faux News got that one right; although, they definitely played it down as no big deal.

On fiscal issues, Democrats foolishly dismissed the president's insistence on cutting $22 billion from overall discretionary spending, claiming it was a puny amount. To them, it is. To the public, it's not. A veto war on spending bills is likely to work in Mr. Bush's favor, though not if weak-willed congressional Republicans cut and run.


"A veto war..."? That would be a pretty one-sided war considering the president is the only member of government with veto power. And as for the Democrats thinking that $22 billion is a puny amount - It is puny, compared to the over $500 billion that we have spent in Iraq. "...weak-willed congressional Republicans cut and run." Or actually do their fucking jobs and follow the will of the American people for once, and stop turning American politics into a neo-conservative dog and pony show. You ASS!

The recipe for Republicans is to stop acting like, well, Republicans--that is, Republicans of recent vintage. In Congress, they've been soft on earmarks, the source of so much corruption. They practically invited Democrats to trump them on ethics and lobbying reform. And they've allowed their obsession with illegal immigrants to get out of hand. This drives away Hispanic voters and leaves the impression that Republicans are small-minded, ungenerous and nasty. The worst offenders are the presidential candidates, who would be wise to tone down their rhetoric on immigration.


How the hell are the candidates going to be able to "tone down their rhetoric" when they must, MUST, secure the votes of the 30% of the country that suffers from a Germany-circa-1938-like xenophobia regarding all things brown?
What frickin' universe is this guy from? Holy shit - I can't take much more of this.

At this point in the article, things just start to get out of hand. So ridiculous that I actually started to laugh.

Transforming a negative image hardened over a period of years is no easy task. Still, there's a lot Republicans can do. First, they should clean house of Republicans caught up in scandal. Forcing two or three House members and at least one senator to retire would involve more than friendly persuasion and no doubt provoke strong resistance. But the effort would attract national attention--favorable attention, for a change.


"...two or three House members and at least one senator..." Oh, God! Good luck with that. {insert my uncontrollable laughter here}

As Karl Rove has noted, Republicans need a big idea. The best available is the one Mr. Bush abandoned: ownership. Allowing private investment of payroll taxes for Social Security would only be a start. An Ownership Society would allow individual Americans, rather than government, to control how and where their health care, public education, 401(k) and IRA funds are spent.


Yeah, or huge corporations, but hey, that's the Republican way. Here's the problem ass-clown: There are a hell of a lot of Americans out there who don't have to worry about who controls their health care, education, 401(k) and IRA funds because they can't even dream about affording such luxuries...They vote too, moron!

At the moment, wherever Republicans look there's mostly bad news. Democrats are raising more money. Their presidential candidates are generating more excitement. Polls show the public identifies with them by a wide margin. Yet there's a path to recovery, possibly even quick recovery. Republicans ought to take it.


I have a path for recovery (for the U.S. at least), possibly even a quick one...All the Republicans should pick up a gun, do an extended tour in Iraq, spend a week in an Iraqi's shoes, then come back to the U.S., put down the gun, get an assembly line job at a factory, then have the factory get shut down and their jobs outsourced to somewhere in the Asian sub-continent, lose their house because of their sub-prime mortgage, get a new job as a migrant worker, then get deported while their American-born child gets sent to a foster home in this country.

That would probably kick start the recovery process.

COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATISM, AHHHH!!!!!

Remember that little mantra. Only heard that about seventy-five million times during the 2000 election. A message to all the r-tards out there who still think Bush is some guy who "they could sit down and have a beer (or twenty) with" because he's "seems more accessible (at least when Dick Cheney lets him out of his man-sized safe) than the other candidates": Here's your (and your kids) compassionate conservatism:

via Scarecrow at Firedoglake

Bush to Kids: Forget About More Public Health Care



Hope you enjoy it! Jerks.

Read Scarecrow's entire post - it's worth it.

Monday

Huh???

I was going to keep this to myself (and several hundred thousands of others over at DKos), but it is just too good not to post. This is an email that Markos received today, and I have to say that this is the most impressive display of fundamentalist ass-hattery I have seen in quite some time. For goodness sake, how hard is it to enlist a spell checker and actually use some form of recognized syntax/punctuation?
(Proper, web-form, IM text...hell, pick one and hit the damn shift key once in a while.)

Here's the gem that made this rainy, chilly, and all-a-around crappy Monday afternoon about a thousand times more bearable (Mind you, this is exactly how the email was received):

liberals , demcorats lie

helloim irish and italian im tired of black people getting 20 times more then a white man.everyone knows hillary and bill chose blk over white and thats racist im sick of heaing gay and lesbian talk trash and africa got aids and they blamed wite people sotell them offor illmake god,jesus mary and joseph come down and punish you.i got a secret for you.1 day before jesus christ died on the cross god had 1,000yrs to move his word threw his son to the world of real god,it makes it year 999ad thats three upside down sixes.then the devils turn for his 1,000 deal 1999ad.then anti christ will have last empire.he was born in 1999 wait till2034 before it starts toheat up message from the realest.dont take gps tracking device god knows all hair in your head he knows where you are.and peace makers are a bad sign jesus offered revelations bfore peace.beware atend world there will be false prpphets.


Does this person literally claim that he/she him/herself is going to "...make (G)od, (J)esus, (M)ary, and (J)oseph come down and punish you."? Wow! Talk about a cool superpower - being able to order God to kick the asses of people with whom you don't agree. It's hard to believe that someone with that much skill has such a hard time negotiating teh keyboardz!

A Dick is a Dick is a Dick...

You get the picture. I gotta say, Ava Lowry is friggin' A-W-E-S-O-M-E! How old is she now...fifteen??? Jeebus H. Cheese Crust she knows how to communicate, and I am looking forward to having her around for a hell of a long time to come.

Look it...



Once again...Nuff said.

Top Ten Conservative Idiots...

via DU...

Top Ten Conservatives Idiots, No. 304

Friday

What's Yer Nerd Type???

Mine is (and get ready because it's a huge frickin' surprise!):

What Be Your Nerd Type?
Your Result: Science/Math Nerd
 

(Absolute Insane Laughter as you pour toxic chemicals into a foaming tub of death!)

Well, maybe you aren't this extreme, but you're in league with the crazy scientists/mathmeticians of today. Very few people have the talent of math and science is something takes a lot of brains as well. Thank whosever God you worship, or don't worship, so thank no deity whatsoever in your case, for you people! Most of us would have died off without your help.

Musician
 
Social Nerd
 
Literature Nerd
 
Drama Nerd
 
Gamer/Computer Nerd
 
Artistic Nerd
 
Anime Nerd
 
What Be Your Nerd Type?
Quizzes for MySpace


(h/t Shakes)

Love It...



'Nuff said.

Wednesday

This is slighlty disconcerting...

via the WSJ...

U.S. to Expand Domestic Use Of Spy Satellites

Yep, that's right. The DoD is apparently going to hand over usage rights to the most high-tech imaging satellites in the U.S. military arsenal to domestic law enforcement agencies. I especially like the reasoning behind this unprecedented move against our civil liberties...

According to officials, one of the department's first objectives will be to use the network to enhance border security, determine how best to secure critical infrastructure and help emergency responders after natural disasters. Sometime next year, officials will examine how the satellites can aid federal and local law-enforcement agencies, covering both criminal and civil law.


What the fuck is going on here? It's like these people just got done reading 1984 for the first time and were like, "Hey, that's a fuckin' GRRREAT idea!". I gotta say...this is one of the sickest things I've read in quite some time.

If the justification for doing this is to protect the country from terrorism, I say what's the point, they obviously have already won.

Today I weep for the Constitution and what was once a great nation.

Tuesday

Friday

Horseshit!

For those of you who personally know me, you are aware of my (more than likely unhealthy) obsession with Pearl Jam. So it should come as no such surprise that this really chaps my ass. Just to let you all know, I am now in the process of canceling my cellular subscription with AT&T...This is bullshit...

AT&T Censors Pearl Jam’s Anti-Bush Lyrics At Lollapalooza

Seriously...What.The.Fuck? If Eddie Vedder poses a serious threat to national security, I will join the rest of you on the roof of my building on Dec. 24 to wait for Santa to come and bring us presents. I'll also make it my personal mission in life to cancel rabbit hunting season this year in an effort to make sure the Easter Bunny doesn't accidentally become Dick Cheney's Sunday evening dinner!

Fuck you AT&T. Thanks for outing yourselves as the true enemy to freedom...Trust me, you are not keeping anyone safe by censoring a rock band.

WAKE UP! and do something about this. DO NOT let major corporations take over the internet. Because if they do, Pearl Jam getting censored will be the least of our concerns.


Save the Net Now