Thursday

Knock it off, Ralph!

via Crooks and Liars

So Ralph Nader has launched an exploratory website that ironically asks “Which side are you on?” Right back at you, Ralph.

Last time around Nader was backed by Koch’s rightwing think tank corporate front group, Citizens for a Sound Economy (now FreedomWorks), so don’t be surprised this time when the billionaire-financed rightwing attack machine Freedom’s Watch backs him with their supposed $250 million dollar war chest. I’m just saying. CNN’s Abbi Tatton tells that Nader is saying that if he can “raise 10 million dollars and to rustle up enough lawyers to help him get ballot access, then he is definitely going to do this,” and we already know Ralph doesn’t have a conscience problem with getting his back scratched by Republicans. (My emphasis.


There is a fine line in politics between wanting to serve because you think you're the best person for the job and just being an narcissistic, attention-crazed media whore. I used to think Ralph Nader was the former, but now I'm convinced he's the latter. I'm not railing against third party candidates by a damn sight - I wish we would have six or seven viable parties. All I'm saying is that had Nader not been in the 2000 election, we would be in a far better off state of affairs than we currently are. I'm talking to you, Florida Recount, SCOTUS.

However, I don't think his entering the race this time will have nearly the detrimental effect to the Democratic candidate as it did in '00. Progressive internet activists and Netroots websites now have an enormous impact on elections - case in point: Ned Lamont defeating Joe Lieberman in the CT Democratic primary in '06. He wouldn't have stood a chance without progressive organizations such as Move On or Act Blue and websites like FDL or DailyKos taking up his cause. And I'm quite certain that these same organizations and websites will do everything in their power to successfully ensure that a Nader candidacy has minimal impact on contemporary Democratic voters - in that registered Democrats will not be tempted to vote for Nader this time around. His appeal just isn't that strong anymore. People are starting to get sick of him.

However, the end result of the CT general election is what scares me the most about the upcoming national general election (Lieberman, as an independent and now a neo-con, defeating Lamont). While I'm not lending much credence to Nader as a viable candidate, there's another person still considering a bid who we aren't hearing much about: Michael Bloomberg (Unity Party?? - I'd like to see just how unifying they really intend to be). Just like the CT general election, a Bloomberg candidacy has the potential to attract a large portion of pronounced independent voters, who without his entering the race, are likely to vote Democrat in the fall - he may even swing a percentage of moderate Democrats. This also holds true for some Republican voters that have become so disenfranchised with the GOP in the last several years that they are considering voting Donkey in November.

Could Bloomberg garner enough votes to actually win the election - not even close! Would his candidacy disproportionately effect the election in favor of the Republicans - hell yes - especially if the GOP nominee is John McCain, who at one time was very alluring to many Independents and Democrats alike (circa 2000). Democrats that refuse to vote for a Republican but don't like Hillary or Barack's politics would almost certainly vote for someone like Bloomberg if the Republican nominee is McCain - remembering the days when McCain didn't seem like such a bad guy and thinking "Eh, if he wins, he wins (Walnuts, that is) - He can't be as bad as Bush". (I know that seems like a bit of a stretch, but this is just my opinion.) Also, don't forget that Bloomberg IS a registered Republican, and we've seen how national politics can turn a seemingly moderate Republican into a war mongering neo-con psycho! 9iu11iani - AHHHHH!!!

So to wrap this up (these are just my opinions):

Nader - Pretty much a has-been joke at this point.

Bloomberg - Major threat to any Democratic nominee. He can't win, but he can swing enough votes to give the Republicans a majority of the electorate.

I feel very strongly that if Bloomberg enters the race, we are in for one hellish fight to end this near decade of mind-numbing neo-conservative dumbassery.

UPDATE: TBogg summed up the entire portion of this post pertaining to Nader in one concise, eloquent sentence:

Ralph Nader is now officially the genital herpes of the body politic.


As I said, beautiful!

Wednesday

KO Takes Town Hall Editor To...Well, Town.

via TRex

This is chock full o' Teh Awesome!



"He got impeached for doing less than the current president does on an average Thursday morning!" Where have I heard that before? To quote Cenk Uyger: "I'm not saying anything, I'm just saying."

Errata

It would seem that I've overestimated the sustainability of Rudy 9iu11iani's stellar mass size balls. He's taking his princess Judi and going home. So I would like to apologize for claiming that not if, but when 9iu11iani is elected, the GWOT would be over as he would use his then black hole balls to zap all the terrorists and brown people into a parallel universe. (About a month ago, I predicted that by his inauguration, his balls would be massive enough to actually form small black holes, in case you missed it.)

My bad.

Well Rudy, it was fun while it lasted, man. 9/11.

Tuesday

I for one, am shocked...

...shocked I tell ya by this AP headline this morning:

Study Claims FEMA Ignored Toxic Findings

OMG, there's a fuckin' surprise. If this wasn't so real, it'd be hilarious. Seriously, you couldn't possibly dream up a cult of fuckups as incompetent, negligent, and abhorrent as is the current administration and its appointed officials.

FEMA "ignored, hid and manipulated government research on the potential impact of long-term exposure to formaldehyde" on Katrina and Rita victims now living in FEMA trailers...


No shit? Again...shocked!

The lawmakers are questioning the integrity of research done by the Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry, and said they don't trust FEMA to conduct an independent investigation into the toxicity of the formaldehyde in trailers.


This is pretty damning in my opinion. These people (FEMA) are charged with helping, protecting, and maintaining life in the event of national disasters, and Congress has literally said they don't "trust" FEMA. Great.

In its initial round of testing, FEMA took samples from unoccupied trailers that had been aired out for days and compared them with federal standards for short-term exposure, according to the lawmakers. FEMA officials instructed scientists at the health agency to leave out details about long-term exposure in its consultation.

"Honest scientific studies don't start with the conclusion, and then work backwards from there," Miller said in statement.


Uh, paging Dr. Miller. Where the hell have you been for last seven years? This is precisely how a scientific study works in Bizzaro Bushworld (You'll recall my saying not more than two weeks ago that if I could report experimental results like these guys do, I'd win the Noble Prize every year). Hell, that's how everything works in B.B. Take Iraq. They wanted to go to war in the worst kind of way, and so they manipulated intelligence and straight up lied for two years until they got the desired result. Not convinced. Let's look at global warming. Approximately 99.999% of credible climatologists say global warming is an urgent and pressing issue and that increasing carbon emissions speeds up the greenhouse effect. Well that's no good when your biggest political contributors are all oil executives. Hey, let's get Dana ("Dino-farts") Rohrabacher to commission a study by the American Energy Institute (a think tank entirely funded by oil companies), which says the exact opposite - there is no discernible evidence that global warming is real (pay no attention to that polar bear with gills over there) - Al Gore is nuts - case closed. Thank God we only have one year left because I for one am getting tired of explaining this.

This has been said before, but it is worth repeating here: One of the main reasons these stories never gain any traction is because about the time people start paying attention to one such item, another comes along that completely obliterates any interest in the former. These people have perfected the art of fucking up to a point that Steve Urkel is getting jealous.

Monday

SOTU?

Totally Craptastic...now with video!



He-he.

Wow! Just...W-O-W!

This is easily the most painfully hilarious thing I've ever seen. Suddenly, the sheer madness of Britney Spears has become much, much clearer. Anyone who voluntarily gets married to this guy is undeniably insane.



Cripes Almighty! I thought the Westboro Baptist All-stars were about as bad as it gets, but lo, K-Fed finds a way to make Shirley and Co. look like Frederick Freakin' Chopin.

Sunday

Whaaa?

Inspired by a Shorter! at Sadly No!

Let's make on thing clear: Corporatism is not Capitalism. "Trickle down economics" is a fucking joke...it doesn't exist. The rich stay rich, the rest stay poor.

Friday

Friday Afternoon Fun...

It's been too long. Alas, I've found the time to finally put up some funny. I originally intended to write about a specific question from the Republican debate last night and how much Tim Russert sucks, but after that near one thousand word jeremiad from yesterday, I just don't have the energy. I may yet get to it because I really do feel the need pontificate on the sucktastic suckiness of Russert and the Republicans alike.

Anywho...I don't remember where I saw this clip (I think Shakesville???), but it's pretty damn funny nevertheless. Actor Jerry O'Connell and director Jerry Minor want you to be an actor because "Actors just know". (This probably won't make any sense if you haven't seen the Tom Cruise Scientology video, and the Church of Scientology has done a pretty damn good job of getting the video pulled from the internetz. So if you haven't seen it, I guess you're S.O.L.)


via Funny or Die



This one is going out to a possible perfect season for the Pats. Personally, I could give a shit less who wins the Superbowl since the Steelers aren't playing. Yes, I've posted this before...Yes, it's going up again because I laugh my ass off every time I see it...If you don't like it, tough, I'm the one writing this thing.

via Dailymotion



This isn't necessarily funny, but it's awesome and fun. In some ways I'd like to imagine that the dolphins in this clip are thinking "Jay-sus, these dumbass humans are easily amused." Unfortunately, it's probably more like "Hey fish guy, how 'bout you give me and my buddies 10 seconds with S.O.B. that stuck us in this damn tank." Yeah...I realize the contradiction, hypocrisy if you will, in posting this clip and thinking that it's slightly cruel to keep dolphins locked up in tanks. I'm an enigma like that...Actually, I'm just being a huge hypocrite...Sorry, nobody's perfect!



Eh-kay, one more. In keeping with the underwater mammal theme, how about gay whales???



I didn't know there were gay whales either. I should have figured it out, though - especially after hearing that Larry Craig just bought out the entire front row of the Minneapolis Sea World for the entire summer. I'm slow.

Whelp, that's it for this week. Peace out.

Thursday

Really Bad Idea...

I was kind of hoping all week that this miracle cure all, the "economic stimulus package" would just magically disappear. Well, that apparently is not gonna happen.

(from WaPo):

Tentative Deal Reached on Economic Stimulus Package

Let me go on record as saying this is one of the worst fucking ideas I have EVER heard. Essentially, the government has decided to give everyone in the country free cash. Sounds awesome right...Wrong! Sam Seder put it nicely the other day while guest hosting on The Young Turks (paraphrasing): "So what this? The government is going to give everyone in the country $800 so they can go and buy some piece of shit item they don't need and that will probably break in three weeks anyway." Right on.

Aside from that, this "tax break" (or whatever the hell you want to call it) is almost assuredly going to create a state of micro-hyperinflation. You can be sure that middle line item retailers (Best Buy, Circuit City, etc.) are going to start slowly increasing prices on certain goods knowing that in a few months everyone and his brother is going to have all this extra cash - and you are going to see politicians telling them to be good Americans...Get out there and spend that money - STIMULATE the economy. So then people are going to be running around buying flat-screen TVs, DVD players, CDs, computers...whatever, while these retailers are raking in the profits from increased sale prices.

You may asking, "Well, this should stimulate the economy, shouldn't it? A least this money is going back into it." The answer to that is hell no, and the explanation is this: I will agree that a sudden surge in retail sales will temporarily make the economy look like it's on the mends. Retail sales will be the highest they've been in years, and the unemployment rate MIGHT (term used very loosely) even drop a tad. For a short time we will all be thinking that we've just barely dodged the bullet again. Phew! That was close.

Here's the problem: What the government is about to do is take $145 billion in cash, and give it to Far Eastern stock markets*. "No were not!!!" Yeah, we are! When was the last time you bought a television, or a DVD player, or any middle line commodity that was made in the United States? I don't know if I ever have (I'm not all that old, though). You know damn well that people are going to take this money and spend it on items just like these. There are no manufacturing jobs in the U.S. that are going to benefit from these purchases. So essentially all the government is going to do is remove another $145 billion from the American economy. It's almost like these people stand to benefit somehow from a completely tanked economy. They have to, or why else would they do it? They're not morons (most of them).

But hey, people who could never think about affording it before this break, will now be content with their flashy new flat-screen TVs, which will probably come in real handy six months from now when they once again can barely afford to put food on the table.

This is another typical placation move by Washington. People are starting to get jittery about the impending economic crisis so they are starting to pay attention a little bit - so much so that major news networks are starting to cover the story on a nightly basis. Awww!!! Shit - can't have that...we better fix this situation and fix it tout de suite. Which is why we saw this amazing bipartisan package come together so quickly in the past few days. Neither side really wants anyone knowing what the hell they're doing in our nation's capital. What better way to pacify people than by throwing a bunch of money in their faces. Let's call it "The Reverse Stripper Effect". Give 'em some money and they'll leave us alone. I'm trademarking that right here and now by the way!

I'm not claiming to have the end-all solution to this problem by a damn sight. But I can at least think of a few better ways to stimulate an economy that doesn't involve sending $145 billion in cash to China, India, and Japan. How about creating federal programs to fix things like bridges, highways, which would ultimately mean we are creating jobs, jobs that would last for a long fucking time (if you've driven on many interstates lately, you know what I mean). More people working long term position = More people putting wages back into the economy over an extended period of time --> the economy stabilizes.

Of course that would completely not be the American way. If we don't see immediate results that benefit us personally in the next 6 - 10 minutes, then it can't possibly be a good idea. I just get all sorts of gooey thinking about our collective self-entitled insistence on instant gratification.

*While I was busy whining about just how fucking bad I think this idea is, it took a good friend of mine to point out the fact that this money is probably not going to stay in the American economy, but find its way overseas. I hadn't really thought about that until he brought it up, and this post really wouldn't amount to much had he not. So here is my h/t to MSC...Thanks, brother.

Wednesday

OMG I KNEW IT!!!

(via Teh General)

Please Read This Carefully, very Carefully!

If you do not forward anything else, please forward this to all your
contacts...this is very scary to think of what lies ahead of us here in
our own United States...better heed this and pray about it and share it with everyone you know.

Who is Hillary Clinton

Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Hillary Rodham Clinton was born in MOSCOW, Idaho to Jose Chavez, a brown FOREIGNER, from Caracas, Venezuela and Prostetnic Vogon Zwentz, an ILLEGAL ALIEN from the planet Vogsphere in the Vogsol System of the Megabrantis Cluster. Hillary's parents met at the BOMB Shelter Tavern in PARIS, Idaho.

When Hillary was two years old, her parents divorced. Her father returned to Venezuela with her brother, Hugo, and her mother married a FREEMASON named CHARLES MANSON Rodham. When Hillary was six years old, the family relocated to the planet Vogsphere, where Hillary studied poetry at a MONTESSORI school in Vogtavia.

Hillary takes great care to conceal the fact that she is half Vogon, half Venezuelan, and the sister of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, a known LATTE DRINKER and lapsed CATHOLIC. She is also quick to point out that her Vogon past has nothing to do with her brother's acquisition of Vogon BATTLE CRUISERS, and that her sudden interest in relaxing trade restrictions on dilithium crystals for Venezuela is simply an example of her commitment to free trade.

Hillary will NOT sing along when a Toby Keith is played at an event. Instead she will pretend to cough while uttering the words "blow me" into her hand.

Let us all remain alert concerning Hillary's expected presidential candidacy.*


OMG! I knew something was wrong with her. Is this email trying to connect Hillary KKKlinton with Scientology and the Communist party? Wouldn't surprise me if she was one! As if I needed anymore reason not vote for her. I don't know if I believe the part about Hugo purchasing the Vogon Battle Cruisers. In fact, can someone tell me where Vogon even is? Is the Megabrantis Cluster an Pacific island chain or something? I've been searching the internet for it all day and I can't find anything. Help me out here if you want to. I also don't know if she really is Manson's child, but I heard that in the past she campaigned for him to be released from prison. I'm not a big fan of Toby Keith, but I would definitely sing along with the music if I was at one of his concerts - just out of respect for the artist. I will say this: I wasn't planning on voting for a liberal commie in this election anyway, but now I'm thinking about passing this email along to some of my friends in the bureau to see what they have to say about it. If everything works out, she won't be in the election much longer 'cause she'll get herself rendered.**







______________________________________________________

*General's fake email.
**My fake response. I hope this is small enough for someone not to notice it.

In Case You Haven't Heard...

...Bush and Cheney's pants are on fire (line blatantly stolen from Blue Texan at FDL).

Let me get this straight...Congress impeached Clinton because he lied about sex, and yet Pelosi and Reid are still running around saying “Impeachment is ‘off the table’” for the current crop off ass-clowns that make up the executive branch.

For crap's sake hold on to your seats...They lied 935 times...Now that’s impressive! You should be starting to see why I am so constantly pissed off about this stuff. Bill Clinton had one of the highest approval ratings of any president when he left office (and still does!), and Bushie’s approval rating was at one time lower than Nixon’s right before he retired (Not to mention the fact that Cheney’s A.R. is hovering right around 9%). Do we ever here about that little fact on the news? Hell no...Britney Spears has gone off and done something bat-shit crazy again so we have to cover that. Here’s my contention:

A Democratic president lied about sex on at most a few occasions, and that is all we heard about on the news (politically speaking) for over an entire year. A Republican president president (and vice president) have lied to or mislead the American public 935 times, and subsequently lead us into a war that has killed over 4,000 U.S. soldiers, wounded over 25,000, killed countless hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, cost the country almost half a TRILLION dollars, and completely obliterated our stature in the world as the gold standard for decency and freedom. I say we might here about this story (note that it is an AP story) once or twice on a major news network in the next few days, but then we’ll be back to business as usual.

------Now imagine if the first sentence was about a Republican and the second about a Democrat. The dem would probably already have been executed for treason. There’s your liberal media for you.

I truly hope I’m wrong about this – I hope this story gets huge. In the past seven years, these neo-cons have done so much to subvert everything that this country has stood for for over two hundred years (and they’ve been unimaginably successful!!!), that I fear the inflicted damage is at this point irreparable.

Monday

WBC Allstars (Rubbin' Da Beats edition)...

These people are so freakin' awesome! Last time, you'll remember, that Ireland was drawing the hatin' for being a nation of "fag-lovers". This time the junior squad drops it like it's hot to remind us that God doesn't like "fibbers".



I got seventeen seconds into that video before I had to turn it off the first time.

Friday

Morning Deep Thought...

If I could report experimental results like Bush administration lackies report intelligence findings, I'd win The Noble Prize in Physics every year.

Hayden: "We have no reason to question that intelligence."

Reporter: "Why is that?"

Hayden: "Can't tell you. National security."

Reporter: "Oh. Okay, sorry for asking."

Hayden: (Throws reporter a doggy treat and pats his head.) "That's a good boy!"

Wednesday

Fox & Friends...

...just killed irony. It's dead. Gone. Buh-bye. I feel like a kid who just found out Santa Claus is really Mommy and Daddy. Watch:

(via Paddy at Cliff's)



Thanks, ya jerks!

WTF MSM???

I'm sure somebody has already noticed this like two weeks ago, but after finally getting to sit down today and look at the results from Michigan last night, I found something I think is strange. Take a look at this graphic from Bob Cesca's Goddamn Awesome Blog (Geez, I laugh every time I hear that title):

Mitt Romney 334,797 - 39 percent
John McCain 255,103 - 30 percent
Mike Huckabee 138,428 - 16 percent
Ron Paul 54,016 - 6 percent
Fred Thompson 31,750 - 4 percent
Rudy Giuliani 24,475 - 3 percent
Uncommitted 17,749 - 2 percent


Three percent!? (Hold on a sec...ROFLMAO!!! Okay, back to the rant.) Hell, let's have some fun and look at 9/11's numbers to date:

(source: NYT Election Guide 2008)

MI - 3%
IA - 3.5%
NH - 8.5%
WY - 0.0%

Kicking Ass!!!


And yet we still see that clown on damn near every major news network on a daily (if not hourly) basis. How much airtime did Bill Richardson get after pulling similar numbers in IA and NH? If you guessed essentially none, you're right. I said essentially because they did cover his announcing that he was withdrawing from the primary.

And once again we find ourselves back to the place where most of these posts end up. Way to fucking go you liberal media sons-a-bitches!!! No further explanation necessary.

Tuesday

Quick Question...

Two wars in two different countries...Check!

Economy in the shitter and getting worse...Check!

With just these two issues alone weighing in on the minds of most Americans right not, it's nice to see that Congress is finally addressing something that will have a tremendous effect on their constituents.

Isn't it?

Friday

My morning aneurysm

I usually don't do stuff like this out of respect for my friends, but this morning I got such a completely absurd wingnut email that I would feel ashamed if I didn't share it. My friend who sent it to me isn't a wingnut at all - he's one of us, and felt the need to pass it along with the question, "This sounds like bullshit to me, what do you think?". You have to know my friend to understand that he obviously knows the email is bullshit, that is just his way of being derisively humorous. Here's the original email, which came from one of his coworkers(original in italics):


Who is Barack Hussien Obama?

Very interesting and something that should be considered in your choice.

If you do not ever forward anything else, please forward this to all your

contacts...this is very scary to think of what lies ahead of us here in >> our own United States...better heed this and pray about it and share it.

We checked this out on 'snopes.com'. It is factual. Check for yourself.

Who is Barack Obama?

Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in
Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black MUSLIM from
Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white ATHEIST from Wichita,
Kansas. Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii. When Obama was
two years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya. His
mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a RADICAL Muslim from Indonesia.? When
Obama was 6 years old, the family relocate to Indonesia. Obama attended
a MUSLIM school in Jakarta. He also spent two years in a Catholic
school.

Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that h e is a Muslim. He is
quick to point out that, 'He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended
Catholic school.' Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it
appear that that he is not a radical.

Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this
influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to
Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence
over his son's education.

Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham,
introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in
Jakarta.

Wahabism is the RADICAL teaching that is followed by the Muslim
terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world. Since it
is politically expedient to be a CHRISTIAN when seeking major public
office in the United States, Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United
Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background. ALSO,
keep in mind that when he was sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy
Bible, but instead the Koran.

Barack Hussein Obama will NOT recite the Pledge of Allegiance nor will
he show any reverence for our flag. While others place their hands over
their hearts, Obama turns his back to the f lag and slouches.

Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential
candidacy.

The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside out,
what better way to start than at the highest level - through the
President of the United States, one of their own!!!!


Please forward to everyone you know. Would you want this man leading our
country?...... NOT ME!!!


NOT YOU, HUH??? Judging from my childhood past and the area I grew up in (which I love - the area, not the people), I'm guessing this author has one problem with Obama, and it ain't Islam. I let you figure the rest out on your own.

Anyway, here's my response, which is rather long winded (I wanted to give him a few clips of ammo in case he decides to throw the bullshit flag at work):

Yes...it is total fucking bullshit. Obama went to a madrassa, which is the Arabic word for, OMG...”school”. For fuck’s sake, ABC actually went and visited Obama’s old school in Indonesia and aired everything they taped. Boys and girls sitting in class together, playing together outside and the head master who was also head master when Barack was there. This just goes to show you how fucking ignorant most authoritarian conservatives are. If they knew the first fucking thing about Wahabism, they would be aware that it teaches that women aren’t even allowed to attend school, EVER!

I’d like to see some credible proof that he took his oath on the Koran – no wait, there is no proof because he most certainly took it on The Bible. Rep. Keith Ellison (D – MN) took his oath on the Koran, and not just any Koran, but Thomas Jefferson's Koran (yes, THAT Thomas Jefferson!).

As for Obama turning his back on the flag and slouching during the pledge??? Show me. One fucking picture of him not wearing a lapel pin during the National Anthem and the “facts have a far-left bias” wingnut crowd turns that instance into Obama’s complete abandonment of all that is The United States. Give me G-D break and go fuck yourselves!

And for Christ’s sake (And I really am praying here because this is just such B.S.), if even one iota of any of this was or is true, FOX would have started another fucking news channel by now solely dedicated to Barack’s “SECRET MUSLIM PAST” – hell, that’s probably what they’d name the damn thing. Why isn’t any of this all over the news? Because when Fox & Friends first ran that madrassa story, they got it shoved right back in their dumbass faces by ABC, CNN, and CBS. Even Fox’s own anchors were making retractions by the end of the day (so you can be sure they knew they fucked up hard).

This is how the right works. It’s the same thing they did to John Kerry with the swiftboat ads, and we’re not even close to being done with the primaries. Rather than present people with platforms or facts, they play on peoples’ emotions and stereotypes with absolutely nothing but rumors and often outright lies. Unfortunately, it is much easier for people to let their emotions do their thinking for them rather than apply reason and logic when forming an opinion. The Republicans realized this “social engineering” technique in the ‘80’s and have been perfecting ever sense. If you tried to debate somebody who believes any of this they would almost certainly become highly defensive and aggressive – ask them to prove such a claim and the only source they would feel obliged to produce would be this particular email. It’s the authoritarian way, and it’s destroying this country.

How about we start our own email. I’ll go first:

- Mike Huckabee released a serial rapist from prison after only serving 14 of a 50 year sentence for raping a distant cousin of Bill Clinton. He justified the commutation by saying he thought the sentence was too harsh. What did Wayne Dumond do upon release? Moved to Missouri where he RAPED and MURDERED two more women. It is much harder to get caught when there are no witnesses.
- Also, his son is a real animal lover. When he was a camp counselor during his senior summer he caught, tortured, and bled out a stray dog. There is a name for people like this – they’re called sociopaths.
- Speaking of animal lovers, Mitt Romney once strapped the family dog to the roof of the car and drove several hundred miles to a vacation spot with the dog on the roof. NICE!
- Rudy Giuliani used to frequently dress in women’s clothing, used NY taxpayer’s money and the NYPD to provide a private security detail for his mistress (now 3rd wife) while he was still married to his second wife. CLASSY!
- Speaking of Mr. 9/11, he wanted Bush to appoint his former police chief, Bernie Kerik, to head Homeland Security. What’s the big deal, you ask? Bernie Kerik just got indicted on 16 counts felony including: fraud, tax evasion, obstruction, filing a false tax documents. He’s a good guy.

Oh shit! We were supposed to be making things up and all these things are 100% true. Dammit.

I could keep going but my hands are getting tired, and I have to go to the lab.

Sorry about the long windedness, but something has to be done before we change our national colors to red, white, and black.

-Frodo failed, Bush has the Ring!

Have a good one, buddy.

-ct


Told you it was long winded. I was absolutely redline pissed when I read that, although had it come from anyone else, I would have just laughed. However, I know all the people who either sent or received that email and I guarantee they now believe Obama is a terrorist planted n-word. Anyway, I figured I'd share - not because of what I wrote, but because of how funny that email is to sane people.

Thursday

R U Effing Kidding Me?

"Decidedly uncool..." That's quite the G-D understatement of the century.

(NYT via Cliff Schecter (Paddy))

2005 Use of Gas by Blackwater Leaves Questions

Suddenly, on that May day in 2005, the copter dropped CS gas, a riot-control substance the American military in Iraq can use only under the strictest conditions and with the approval of top military commanders. An armored vehicle on the ground also released the gas, temporarily blinding drivers, passers-by and at least 10 American soldiers operating the checkpoint.

“This was decidedly uncool and very, very dangerous,” Capt. Kincy Clark of the Army, the senior officer at the scene, wrote later that day. “It’s not a good thing to cause soldiers who are standing guard against car bombs, snipers and suicide bombers to cover their faces, choke, cough and otherwise degrade our awareness.”


What the hell is wrong with these people and just who the fuck do they think they are? It's reported by the Times that none of the soldiers needed medical attention and no one is sure whether any Iraqis did - Thank God for that.

Oh wait...It gets much better (and gives me an idea)!

Officers and noncommissioned officers from the Third Infantry Division who were involved in the episode said there were no signs of violence at the checkpoint. Instead, they said, the Blackwater convoy appeared to be stuck in traffic and may have been trying to use the riot-control agent as a way to clear a path.


Nice! I'm sure the producers of CS gas could make a shitload of money in this country selling their product to disgruntled drivers. It might actually reduce the number of incidents of road rage.

To be fair, let's give DeathBlackwater their turn to spin:

Anne Tyrrell, a spokeswoman for Blackwater, said the CS gas had been released by mistake.

“Blackwater teams in the air and on the ground were preparing a secure route near a checkpoint to provide passage for a motorcade,” Ms. Tyrrell said in an e-mail message. “It seems a CS gas canister was mistaken for a smoke canister and released near an intersection and checkpoint.”


Lame.

A mistake? How about the fucking armored vehicle that released the gas. Don't see that mentioned anywhere. And for Christ's sake, smoke grenades? Why the hell would you release smoke grenades into an intersection you're preparing to escort a convoy through? I should think that visibility becomes a main priority at that point for the safety of the convoy and the people in the intersection. Oh wait...the people in the intersection were Iraqi civilians and American soldiers and this is Blackwater we're talking about.

Funny (well, not really), I'm having a hard time justifying how somebody who considers himself a fundamentalist Christian (Erik Prince, founder and CEO of Blackwater) can in good conscious run a company of private killers. This guy is so twisted that his life story would make for a helluva sequel to Seven.

Total sociopaths. Not just Prince and the rogue Blackwater assholes, but the fuckin' people in our government that constantly cover up all this heinous shit - from the State Department to the DoD. Way to support the troops.

Tuesday

Hey, the system is Imperfect!

Looks like we Commie-IslamoHomoMexiFascists might have a point when we say the health care system in this country...Well, pretty much sucks...

via Reuters

France best, U.S. worst in preventable death ranking

When the researchers conducting the study were asked their opinions for the U.S. ranking they expectedly gave the almost comically tragic answer:

"I wouldn't say it (the last-place ranking) is a condemnation, because I think health care in the U.S. is pretty good if you have access. But if you don't, I think that's the main problem, isn't it?"


Nah. That can't possibly be the problem - denying people health care is a good thing. Just ask Bill Kristol.

"Well, first of all, whenever I hear anything described as a heartless assault on our children ( ed. note: Bush's veto of SCHIPS), I tend be - think - it's a good idea. I'm happy that the President is willing to do something bad for the kids..."


So am I, Bill. Plus, these new rankings make us look frickin' awesome on the world stage. I mean, if you want to get technical there are 173 other U.N. countries that weren't even good enough to make the list putting us in the top ten percent.

YAY for us!

Monday

The Real Rudy...

From Brave New Films...



Another example of the "Liberal" fuckin' media. These folks' story should be played at least once a day on every network from now until the election. Instead, we get to hear how awesome "America's mayor" is. Get fucked!

Why?

Because it's Monday.



And I'm going slightly mental. And this song has been in my head all morning.

I'd be super remiss...

...not to link to this Huffington Post awesomeness.

Sekoff: “…and I give him (O’Reilly) credit, cause he didn’t hit him with a loofah or a falafel.

MacCallum: “Alllllright!”

Sekoff: “Oh yeah. You know, Martha, maybe the thing was that he was surprised that when he showed up at an Obama event, it was just like any other event and no one was yelling for their iced tea.”


Just frickin' A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!!!!

Friday

OMG!! Rudy's Titanium Balls Just Grew To Ten Times Their Former Size!!

Obama wins...Hillary loses...Hucknut wins...May help Walnuts (i.e. McCain for those of you not completely obsessed with political blogging) in NH...Britney in hospital after custody dispute with K-fed...blah...blah...blah...These are the stories plastering the national media as we speak. What does all this mean for Rudy? Well, he's not worried...

(NY Daily News via Brad at SadlyNo!)

He flatlined in Iowa and he’s struggling in New Hampshire, but Rudy Giuliani shook off the early-state blues Thursday as only he can.

“None of this worries me - Sept. 11, there were times I was worried,” Giuliani said.


You almost get the feeling that 9/11 was the happiest day of his life, the SOB mentions it so much…


Nice observation, Brad, and Moses smell the roses, Rudy! If your wondering why the title of this post is referencing Rudy's Ti balls it's because of a post I wrote some time ago theorizing that Rudy's balls become more massive each time he mentions 9/11 as one explanation as to why he does that so much.

My data is now telling me that Rudy's balls have become so dense they are starting to counteract the moon's gravitational influence over Earth's tidal currents. By extrapolating this information, I predict that by Super Tuesday at least one, quite possibly both of his balls, will implode to form minature black holes, which he will then use to send all of the terrorists and brown people to a parallel universe.

Sounds crazy doesn't it? Hey I'm just telling you what the model says.