Quote of the day...

...from Gen. David Petraeus:

via BBC: In response to the news that 4,000 US military personnel have now been killed in Iraq, he said it showed how much the mission had cost but added that Americans were realistic about it.

I agree, General - most Americans ARE "realistic" about the situation in Iraq. But then there still exist a few who I'm not so sure about...

"This preznitin' stuff is kewl."

What the hell...

This is some seriously effed up stuff.

CNN via C&L

A U.S. House committee chairman has begun an investigation into the electrocutions of at least 12 service members in Iraq, including that of a Pittsburgh soldier killed in January by a jolt of electricity while showering.

Rep. Henry Waxman, chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, said Wednesday he has asked Defense Secretary Robert Gates to hand over documents relating to the management of electrical systems at facilities in Iraq.

Staff Sgt. Ryan Maseth, 24, died January 2 of cardiac arrest after being electrocuted while showering at his barracks in Baghdad.


In a January 21 memo responding to questions from Maseth's family, the Army's criminal investigations division said the Chinese-made pump was acquired before KBR took over maintenance of the building and did not meet U.S. safety standards.

Who gives a shit from where or when the pump was acquired? This company was given billions of dollars worth of no-bid contracts, and hence, they are saddled with the responsibility of providing safe conditions for our soldiers.

Oh, yeah. I forgot that I was talking about the Bush administration's corporate overlords - the word "responsibility" is more of an anathema to those people than the word "reality" is to Bush himself.


Stupid Liberal CNN...

UPDATE: Go read this post by Blue Texan at FDL. This may be the greatest blog post title I've seen...well, EVAH!

Will McCain Have Lieberman Next To Him at 3AM?

That "gaffe by McCain that I didn't do a very good job of explaining below (I started typing it a seven this morning after only getting about 3 hours of sleep) should automatically disqualify him as a serious contender. As Blue Texan notes:

It's almost impossible to imagine the wingnut/media outrage circus if Obama or Clinton had claimed Iran was training al Qaeda. I see Sludge Report headlines like, HOW CAN WE TRUST OBAMA TO FIGHT THE WAR IF HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE ENEMY?...

You can bet your ass that is exactly what you'd see. Faux News's website would probably start a new fuckin' blog about the topic!

Here's a headline from CNN's top stories this morning - mind you there is nary a mention anymore of Obama's home run speech from yesterday:

Dems seize on McCain's Iran gaffe

In case you aren't aware, McCain said not once, but three times in a twenty-four hour period that al Qaeda in Iraq is retreating into Iran where they are receiving training from the Iranian government. Let's think about that for a second...He said three separate times that the Iranians (Shiites) are training al Qaeda in Iraq (Sunnis). It was not until his warmongering buddy Lieberman stepped in after the third reference that Walnuts corrected his mistake and said Iran is training "extremists".

Get it? I do. To put it bluntly, Mr. Twenty Years of Foreign Experience doesn't have the slightest clue what the hell is going on in Iraq - not one clue as to who is fighting who, or what faction is supporting the other. He doesn't have one damn clue who al Qaeda in Iraq is, or who Mahdi Army is, or any other group that is aligned against the coalition.

And here's what I love about the above headline: McCain's ignorance was an "apparent gaffe" that "the Dems" are somehow seizing.

(CNN) – The Democratic National Committee seized on John McCain's apparent gaffe...

It wasn't a gaffe. It was and is woeful ignorance. And McCain's campaign was quick to respond issuing a statement:

"Democrats have launched political attacks today because they know the American people have deep concerns about their candidates’ judgment and readiness to lead as commander in chief."

You gotta love that. The American people, whom only 19% of support the Chimp-in-chief, have deep concerns about Democratic candidates' ability to lead. CNN goes on to write in the article:

The DNC later sent out a transcript of McCain's interview Monday with conservative Hugh Hewitt, during which he appeared to make the same mistake.

"As you know, there are al Qaeda operatives that are taken back into Iran, given training as leaders, and they’re moving back into Iraq," he told Hewitt.

You also have to love how CNN is framing this: "...he 'appeared' to make the same mistake." Appeared there might be some reason for skepticism? He absolutely made the same mistake! He doesn't have a clue and just demonstrated that he in no way shape or form ready or able to understand the complexity of the mess that his buddy King George has created in Iraq.


Wow...I knew it was bad, but...

...this is so unrealistic I'd like to know why I'm just learning of this from the BBC.

via Shakesville

Touching on something from this morning - I wonder how Dear Leader would respond to this video. First, I'm sure someone would have to explain to him that those people are real Americans. Secondly, I'm almost as sure that he'd make some snide, smart ass comment in private about these unfortunate souls. Lastly, no one in their right mind would let the King out of his isolation bubble long enough to be exposed something this bad.

After he leaves office, I wonder if his advisers and people really close to him intend to continue insulating him from the disastrous legacy of his abysmal presidency. Will it even be possible? Or does the current crop of GOP machinists just plan to send him out to pasture in Crawford with a small army of Blackwater mercenaries whose sole purpose will be making sure only the right people and information get on or off the ranch?

From The Land of Makebelieve...

Dick Cheney brings us this awesome and fantastical news:

via McClatchy

BAGHDAD — Vice President Dick Cheney on Monday made a surprise visit to Baghdad, where he pledged that U.S. forces would "not quit before the job is done" and said that a massive troop buildup had achieved "phenomenal" improvements in security.

As this was happening in the reality in which the rest of us live:

At sunset Monday, however, a female suicide bomber killed at least 40 people and injured more than 50 when she blew herself up in a crowded pedestrian area near a Shiite Muslim shrine in the southern holy city of Karbala, according to government and hospital officials.

Back to Dick's dreamland:

Cheney told a news conference in Baghdad that the invasion of Iraq five years ago this week was a "difficult, challenging, but nonetheless successful endeavor."

Nonetheless successful? I just don't get it how these people can be so out of touch with the brass tacks as to say and think such things. Bush thinks the economy is great...Cheney thinks the situation in Iraq is phenomenal...Vitter says that his and the Spitzer incident merit no comparison. I mean c'mon. And the MSM refuses to challenge or hold them accountable for such nonsense.


Okay, David...

So David Vitter is now claiming that there people shouldn't be drawing conclusions being him and Elliot Spitzer (via Wonkette):

"I have made a very serious mistake a long time ago and I have to live with that every day ... That's not a flippant statement. I need to spend my whole life making up for that ... Anybody who looks at the two cases will see there is an enormous difference between the two of them. The people that are trying to draw comparisons to the two cases are people who've never agreed with me on important issues like immigration and other things."

Wev! Do you think Vitter really believes this, or does he just feels like he has to say dumb shit?



This is so unfathomably stupid I'd be remiss not to share it. An email I received today (my interjections):

Subject: Fw: Are you a Democrat, Republican or a Texan?

Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Texan?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife

and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife

comes around the corner (happens daily) ,

locks eyes with you (uh-oh, a Muslim is looking at me),

screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the

knife, and charges at you (Again, an everyday occurance).

You are carrying a Kimber (?) 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you

are an expert shot (Of course I am, I wouldn't be a good American

if I wasn't.
) You have mere seconds before he reaches you

and your family. What do you do (Shit my pants - this is getting scary)?



Democrat's Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! ( isn't? If someone is running at me with a knife and I have a gun and it appears as though he's going to kill me...I'm gonna fuckin' shoot him. And I'm a Democrat.)

Does the man look poor or oppressed? (Yes, he took it kind of hard when we bombed his house and bulldozed his garden in his homeland.)

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? (I breathed once this morning...I didn't think there was anything wrong with that though. Oh wait, ibid.)

Could we run away? (That would make us total pussies.)

What does my wife think? (There's a brown person coming towards us with a knife? If my husband doesn't whip his cock out a beat the brownie to death with it, he's not a real man, and I'm going to divorce him.)

What about the kids? (Screw the kids...they need to learn how to fend for themselves!)

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? (Unnecessary as I will be doing the same thing with my penis, which interestingly enough is the reason I bought a gun in the first place.)

What does the law say about this situation? (Justifiable homicide to reckless negligence depending on the shade of the terrorist's brownness.)

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? (I thought it was a Kimber?)

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? (I need to carry a gun in public because at any moment an Islamic Terrorist might come around the corner carrying a large knife.)

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he becontent just to wound me? (He's never gonna get the chance to make that decision because I'm gonna use my weapon to discourage him from acts of further aggression.)

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my

family get away while he was stabbing me? (I doubt even Republicans find that one funny.)

Should I call 9-1-1? (Yes, and if you have AT&T, Verizon, etc. the Department of Homeland Security and the NSA will almost assuredly appreciate your call.)

Why is this street so deserted? (Everyone is at the new George Clooney movie. Fucking hippies!)

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. (I thought Nancy Pelosi already replaced the Fourth of July with "paint and weed day". What are taxes?)

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus. (Then I'm sure that we will reach the conclusion that it is necessary to just kill everyone on the street to be safe. And invade Mexico to make sure this doesn't happen again!)


Republican's Answer:

BANG! (Because Republican's are tough!)


Texan's Answer:


BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading) (Sweet!)


BANG! Click (What the fuck, bitch, you only brought two clips?)

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the

Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?" (You're such a dumbass, dear. Winchester silver tips won't work in a Kimbell 1911.)

Son: "Can I shoot the next one!" (Sure, sweetie. Because you know as soon as we round the corner onto Fifth Street there's going to be another knife wielding terrorist standing there waiting to kill us.)

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist! (No I ain't.)

Hardy har-har! I have conservative friends.


Don't Like the News...

...Then make sure there is no news.

Pentagon Report on Saddam's Iraq Censored?

Simple as that. Paging Dr. Orwell.

Here's a nice quote from the afore to linked article:

On June 18, 2004 the Washington Post quoted President George W. Bush as saying: "The reason I keep insisting that there was a relationship between Iraq and Saddam and al Qaeda: because there was a relationship between Iraq and al Qaeda," Bush said.

How about the Saudis? I'm about to pop.

Does anybody remember the old days when we could be proud of our president?

Nine-eleven didn't change that much. These people are fucking CRIMINALS and they MUST be held accountable for what they have done.


God Help Us

We all knew this was coming - I just didn't think it would happen this soon:

Fallon resigns as Mideast military chief

The top U.S. military commander for the Middle East resigned Tuesday amid speculation about a rift over U.S. policy in Iran. Defense Secretary Robert Gates said that Adm. William J. Fallon had asked for permission to retire and that Gates agreed. Gates said the decision, effective March 31, was entirely Fallon’s and that Gates believed it was “the right thing to do.”

Of course Gates believes that. I mean how the hell can the neocons launch an aggressive military action with an already criminally overstressed military against a sovereign nation that has never attacked the U.S. if the highest ranking officer in at CENTCOM refuses to give that order.

Admiral William Fallon, then President George W. Bush’s nominee to head the Central Command (CENTCOM), expressed strong opposition in February to an administration plan to increase the number of carrier strike groups in the Persian Gulf from two to three and vowed privately there would be no war against Iran as long as he was chief of CENTCOM.

WARNING: Tin-foil moment...

You know what? I refuse to believe that this administration is fucking stupid enough to think that a military confrontation with Iran is desirable. I just refuse to acknowledge that. Despite the unhinged rhetoric from Bush (the man has obviously checked out of reality) and the lapdog stance of the media regarding the Whitehouse's past statements about Iran, I just do not believe that these folks are really that fucking ignorant.

Which begs the question, what is the real motive for even suggesting such an attack? I'm completely open to suggestions here because I really have no clue.

Thanks, Pentagon...

...This might have been useful information five years ago when nobody knew what the hell was going on. But heck, better late than never.

via McClatchy

WASHINGTON — An exhaustive review of more than 600,000 Iraqi documents that were captured after the 2003 U.S. invasion has found no evidence that Saddam Hussein's regime had any operational links with Osama bin Laden's al Qaida terrorist network.

Funny how the Spitzer story is garnering just enough attention from the evil liberal media to guarantee this McClatchy article never sees the light of day. Mind you, Elliot Spitzer cheated on his wife by being serviced by some very expensive prostitutes, and I find that reprehensible. I'm also extremely disappointed that Spitzer wasn't able to keep it in his pants - essentially giving the right-tards, who control about 90% of talk radio and TV news, a new topic to beat to death while convincing their listeners that the Democrats are no better morally than the Republicans. This happens at a time when many people were genuinely starting to question just how "right" the right actually is.

For the last 24 hours Spitzer's woes have been in the top story spot on CNN, NYTimes, MSNBC, FauxNews, etc...

Yet, a veritable bombshell report is released from the Pentagon, and not a single mention of it anywhere on those sites.

This report, from the freakin' Pentagon, is yet one more piece of evidence that proves that George W. Bush cheated on the American people, with some very expensive corporate prostitutes, and disgracefully abandoned the Constitution and America's reputation to ensure that his corporate buddies remain above the law.

Wev! The media can't be burdened with actually reporting this sort of thing when a Democratic governor might be indicted on something that is usually considered a misdemeanor on the first offense.

Okay, Okay...I gotta move on, but...

I'm having a hellish amount of fun perusing the craziness at WorldNutDaily. Like this headline near the top of the home page (I'm not linking to them anymore):

Flinch! Ford finally bends,
homosexual boycott over

With the subtext: "Activists say carmaker meets conditions
as sales plunged 8% per month since '05"

The group we're talking about here is the American Family Association (AFA), and according to the leader of the group for the 24 months the boycott was in place, Ford's sales dropped 8% a month, every month. He claims that over 750,000 Americans signed onto the group's boycott of Ford. Seeing as how at no point in this post does the author see fit to link to any data supporting any of these claims, I shall now claim bullshit on the entire thing. Hey, at least they leave the door open as to why Ford's sales my have declined:

The organization said its boycott was not entirely responsible for the drop in sales, but played a very significant role.

Hmmm. Yeah, sure it did. Probably almost as significant a role as the economy taking a complete and total shit in the last two years, coupled with surging oil prices, and other car producers consistently outperforming Ford in every vehicle class other than pickup trucks. You guys at the AFA really showed those fag lovers at Ford.

Shorter Vox Day

via Dispatches

Fewer men are attending universities compared to women and this is causing the ratio of divsion one men's sports teams to women's sports teams to shrink, which directly implies that women scientists are going to destroy science itself sometime in the next thirty years. Oh, and two plus two will then equal five.

No, I'm fuckin' serious. If you don't believe that Vox Day is that profoundly stupid, go read the second-to-last paragraph of this post at WorldNutDaily. I caution against reading the entire post as after I completed it, I was left with a splitting migraine. It's that damn bad.

UPDATE: I was just looking at this post, and I realized that there may exist a few subtleties that I need to learn before perfecting the "Shorter" art form. For one, I don't think the block quote is necessary. Since I've taken TRex's advice and removed myself from the primary mudslinging, my ken regarding the "Shorter" style of post shall surely improve in the next few weeks. Or not.


Great. Finally, It's a Yankee Democrat!

Wow, this is the kind of thing I'd only come to expect from Louisiana senators and Arkansas governors.

Report: N.Y. governor linked to prostitution ring

Fuckin' A. Well, at least we can be sure that the "liberal" media will do it's best to keep this story buried. (I was going to post a screen shot of CNN here, but I'm having trouble getting the picture loaded.)

I can hardly wait to see how conservative talking heads call for Spitzer's resignation while conveniently forgetting about David Vitter's predilection for ladies of the night. This should be comedic gold. I might actually watch Bill O'Reilly tonight just for the material. I'll bet Sean Hannity is masturbating to this story as we speak. If he's not on the air tonight, you know why.

Shockingly stupid...

I'm at a loss for words here. Just watch this video of Rep. Sally Kern (R - Oklahoma's butthole) talking about America's "gay problem".

via Dispatches

When she says "gays pose a bigger threat to America than terrorists or Islam", I nearly fell out of my chair. What kind of threat does Islam pose to this country anyway? Terrorists, yes - Islam, not so much. Of course I am part of the Islamocommiefeminazifascist conspiracy, so who knows?

What an ignorant asshat. I feel terrible for Oklahoma.

UPDATE: Hilarity ensues...

via Pam's House Blend

A "pro-troll agenda" is the cornerstone of the Islamocommiefeminazifascist movement.


Well, this totally blows...

via TRex

Sucker Carlson is not gonna have his own show anymore. Who the hell are we gonna make fun of now? This isn't fair. Bill O'Reilly is too easy and Sean Hannity is just...insane. Oh, wait. Glenn Beck is still broadcasting. Sweet! Let's ride that horse into the dirt.

On a side note (again): If Rachel Maddow were to take over Sucker's spot, I would crap a solid gold nugget into tomorrow morning's cereal. As much as we'd all like to see it, there is no way in hell they would let her have her own show.

Good News for The Good Guys

via C&L

Major Democratic Victory - Hastert’s IL Seat Goes To Bill Foster

Foster kicked the shit out of Denny Hastert's replacement in a hugely red district. And if you think that only winning by 3% doesn't justify me saying "kicked the shit out of", then I'd suggest you check the demos for that particular district. Lots and lots of Republicans livin' up there in northern Illinois.

Sidebar: There might not be anything new for a couple of days as I'm going to be writing a rather lengthy essay for the next blogswarm against theocracy that is set to take place Easter weekend. I should probably pick a topic tout de suite - seeing as how I only have one week to rip this sucka out. On the other hand, there may be a bunch of new shite as I come across things during research. We'll just have to see, won't we?


We are one year old...


No, seriously. Daily Dia"Tribe" is one year old today. If it weren't such a youngin', I'd buy it a beer.


With all due respect, Senator Bradley...

Your efforts to get financial records revealed might best be concentrated elsewhere. Granted, the shady business transactions of Hill's hubby will most definitely be used against her in the general election (should she win) - how about expending some energy to get the Whitehouse to release their business dealings.

Washington Times (Ewww, sorry!) via GottaLaff

Bill Bradley said on PBS, "I think Barack Obama has a much stronger chance of beating John McCain in the general election. I think Hillary is flawed in many ways, and particularly if you look at her husband's unwillingness to release the names of the people who contributed to his presidential library. And the reason that is important -- you know, are there favors attached to $500,000 or $1 million contributions? And what do I mean by favors? I mean, pardons that are granted; investigations that are squelched; contracts that are awarded; regulations that are delayed.

What? Is he trying to be satirical? "I mean, pardons that are granted; investigations that are squelched; contracts that are awarded; regulations that are delayed."

Did I suddenly get transported into a parallel universe? Or did Bill just get confused and start talking about things that need to be investigated regarding the Bush Administration? I feel really weird right now. Where the hell am I?

“These are important questions. The people deserve to know. And we deserve, as Democrats, to know before a nominee is selected, because we don't want things to explode in a general election against John McCain."

Head is spinning...starting to get queasy.

-Blogger passes out-

What happened? Where was I? Wow, I just had the weirdest dream that Bill Bradley was saying some seriously crazy shit about the Clinton's financial records or something.

-Blogger notices typing and scrolls up-

Oh shit...that was real. Dammit, Bill. The Republicans will do just fine digging up enough dirt on either candidate without you running your mouth off. And as far as things exploding in the general election, well that's rather inevitable now, isn't it? I seem to remember you running for president at some point in the past so this stuff should be old hat for you. Let Karl and crew do their job. I hear their quite good at it.

In the meantime, why don't you start trying to get Emperor Bush and Darth Cheney to share some of their secrets from the dark side of the force. If that's not your cup of tea, maybe you care to comment on this or this. Pick one. I'll wait.


A lesser talked about Bush disaster

With the war in Iraq, the US attorneys scandal, Hurricane Katrina, illegal wiretaps, a dismal economy, get the point, Blue Texan at FDL reminds us of another one of King Shitas' steaming piles of hooey:

George W. Bush, 1/26/2000:

"What I think the president ought to do [when gas prices spike] is he ought to get on the phone with the OPEC cartel and say we expect you to open your spigots...And the president of the United States must jawbone OPEC members to lower the price."

Yeah, so how's that working out?

Incidentally, when Big Texas Oilman Bush was ankle-biting Clinton/Gore on gas prices in January 2000, crude oil was at $27 a barrell.

It's now $104.52.

Well, it's only a 387% increase. At least the oil companies are doing alright.

Heckuva job, Bushie.


Ugh...Jeebus, Glenn.

Another display of simply stunning dumb-fuckery from Glenn Beck. Here his Mr. Ratings Czar himself talking with Walnuts' new buddy, Rev. John "The Catholic Church is a whore" Hagee:

via C&L

BECK: Let me ask you, because I got — I get so much e-mail on this, and I think a lot of people do, and I`ve only got a couple of seconds. They say Glenn, you and the media, you`ve got to wake up. Barack Obama`s making people faint and cry and everything else. And he`s drawing people in.

There are people — and they said this about Bill Clinton that actually believe he might be the anti-Christ. Odds that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ?

I'd like to see tangible evidence of the "so much email" that Glenn is getting regarding Obama secretly bearing the mark of the beast.

Glenn, I'm talking directly to you now, bud. Listen. You need to realize how pathetic and petty you are becoming when John friggin' Hagee is refusing to entertain your macabre hyperbole.

HAGEE: No chance. He has a lot of charisma. There`s a media love affair with him right now. He is a very formidable political person. I believe the best leader for America in the future is John McCain.

Fuck Glenn. Get a grip already.

Hagee thinks Beck's statement so outrageous that he's forced to step in and quasi-defend Obama. That's right...Obama got defended by a guy who moments earlier said this:

HAGEE: Anti-Semitism is an oxymoron. An anti-Semite is someone who is driven by hate. A Christian is someone who`s driven by love. Therefore, there`s no such thing as a Christian anti-Semite.

Nope, there's no such thing, John*.

*I feel dirty even posting that image, and I apologize to anyone who is offended by it. I'm just trying to make a point about Hagee's idiocy in comparison to Beck's delusional claims.


More Hilarity From Red State Update

"What the hell, nation. What? Are we going to see who can send a fax the fastest?"

Still sick by the way. This is getting pretty tired.