Monday

I ♥ Sarah Palin

Golly gee, I hope she sure does stick around for awhile. When she speaks, those of us who write don't have to get that creative to be funny...She's hilarious in her own right. Part of me actually thinks that Palin is some kind of hyper-intelligent liberal who just got bored and decided to fuck with people to occupy her time (the part that reads Sadly No! - this idea of liberal geniuses masking as wingnuts is Brad's.). On the other hand, she's like O'Reilly in that you couldn't invent a character as absurd as she is - such a personality just isn't believable. Take some of these quotes from a recent interview, which I will graciously translate into non-politician speak:

Q. Why do you think your campaign lost?

A. I think the Republican ticket represented too much of the status quo, too much of what had gone on in these last eight years, that Americans were kind of shaking their heads like going, wait a minute, how did we run up a 10 trillion dollar debt in a Republican administration? How have there been blunders with war strategy under a Republican administration? If we're talking change, we want to get far away from what it was that the present administration represented and that is to a great degree what the Republican Party at the time had been representing. So people desiring change I think went as far from the administration that is presently seated as they could. It's amazing that we did as well as we did.


Translation: Republicans really suck. They are damn near the polar opposite of King Midas. Everything they've touched for the last eight years has turned into a steaming pile of shit. Wait...I'm a Republican? I forgot...In that case, we did amazing considering how much we sucktastically suck.

Q. There's been an enormous amount of information about you that Alaskans have been exposed to the past couple of months -- and lots of it very critical. What are Alaskans supposed to make of all this?

A. Regarding information regarding my record, that is now out there, much of it that was based on misinformation was a very, very frustrating thing to have to go through when the record was never corrected. And we would try to correct the record and too many in the media chose not to make those corrections.

Q. What misinformation are you talking about?

A. Some of the goofy things like who was Trig's mom. Well, I'm Trig's mom (raises her hand) and do you want to see my medical records to prove that? ... And banning books. That was a ridiculous thing also that could have so easily been corrected just by a reporter taking an extra step and not basing a report on gossip or speculation. But just looking into the record. It was reported that I tried to ban Harry Potter when it hadn't even been written when I was the mayor. So, gosh, we have so many examples, I mean every day, especially the first few weeks, every day something that was thrown out there.


Translation: Did you know that people lie about you when you're out there politicking. That's not very nice, and gosh darnit, we Alaskans don't like to do that. By the way, Barack Obama is a Communist homosexual with a Marxist agenda to steal all your money and give it to black people who will then use that money to enslave all white people and force them to wear baggy clothes and listen to that hip hop music.

Q. One of the things that came up during the campaign is that you charge the state per diem for time spent here in Wasilla. Is that something you are going to continue to do?

A. We've always followed the law and fully disclosed all that. The choice there in many months of the Juneau mansion being re-plumbed and all the improvements being made in the infrastructure of the Juneau house, where we weren't going to be there anyway. Knowing that in the end it would have cost the state more money to do what other governors had done and that is either charge the state for hotel rooms. Or the state rents you an apartment like they did for Governor Murkowski. We said no, we just won't sell our house, knowing that we're going to spend quite a bit of time here, especially those months where the remodels were taking place in the governor's mansion. And we would disclose my per diem, we wouldn't try to hide it ... trying to go above and beyond, not accepting any per diem for the kids or Todd at all, they've lived outside of the governor's house. Trying to follow the rules and doing what is legal and ethical and full disclosure.

Same with the family's travel. That's baffled me that all of a sudden two years later, again, never having tried to hide anything with either traveling back and forth to Juneau for first family events that were outside the capital city, in bringing Piper and, once in a while, Willow with me also, that anybody would think that I was trying to hide that they came with me ... just trying to do my job and part of my job is with the first family, having them with me at some of these events.


Translation: I can't believe somebody actually took the time to check up on all my spending. Don't you people have anything better to do. Hell, McCain's people didn't even take the time to vet that information, and they picked me to be his running mate for Cripe's sake! Also, I can't do this politicking thing alone. I need my children with me everywhere I go. It's their job to act as human shields for me when the liberal media starts asking me questions. They aren't supposed to be asking me questions. What's with all these questions. You act like I represent an entire population or something...leave me alone. Willow, where are you?

Alright. I gotta end it here otherwise I'd be doing this all day. You get the point. She's still crazy.

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