Wednesday

Oi. Oi vey. Oi vey --> Me =|

As is normal with most mornings, there is a single headline on CNN's frontpage that makes me want to move to the hills and become a subsistence farmer:

President Palin? Alaska governor ponders her future

(Real quick: That is the worst title I think I've ever come up with. Because that title sucks so bad, I refuse to change it. Sometimes we all need to bring ourselves down a few notches and reading that borderline retarded [seriously] title is a good place for me to start.)

1) Why didn't we see any headlines like this after the 2004 election about possible Democratic candidates?

2) Maude, I hope she runs...she's a gold mine:

Ding!

In the past week, the former vice presidential candidate has invited reporters into her home in Alaska, serving them moose chili and moose hot dogs as she opens up about her life and what's next.


After moose dogs and caribou chili we can head down to Walnut's sixteenth house for some of his special BBQ, you media kiss ass.

Ding, ding!

Immediately after the election, she told CNN that she didn't know "what the heck's going to happen in 2012."

"Right now, I cannot even imagine running for national office in 2012," she said after the results came in. "When I say that, of course, [it's] coming on the heels of an outcome that I did not anticipate and had not hoped for."


Really, Sarah? You didn't anticipate losing in a landslide referendum? Okay, way to carry the pulse of the people outside of MooseHotDogVille Wasilla, AK. Also, can you just say "hell" for shit's sake? Trust me, you'll get more voters that way.

Ding, ding, ding...

"I'm like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door," she said in an interview that aired Monday on Fox News.


I'm like totally, totally psyched about the next four years, y'all. Like, it's going to be like totally awesome. Like. (I don't actually have much room to talk here. I use "like" way too much, but I'm not the governor of the geographically largest state in the Union either.)

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding....WINNER!

"And if there is an open door in '12 or four years later, and if it is something that is going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, an opportunity for me, then I'll plow through that door."


Yeah, 'cause running for President of the United States is all about improving your family's quality of life first, your state's standing next, and then worrying about the rest of the nation and what kind of opportunity such an office holds for your future...good philosophy. I'm sure the other 329,000,000 people in the U.S. that don't live in Alaska will definitely agree with you.

I gotta throw this last part of the article out there:

Outside of politics, some supporters are hoping Palin will follow former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee's lead and take her folksy charm to the small screen. Huckabee has become a political commentator and talk-show host for Fox News.
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Before the election, Palin wasn't keen on the idea of hosting a talk show. But being on television would be nothing new for her -- she anchored a local sports segment before she dove into politics.


I hope she does exactly what Huckabee did and becomes a talk show host on what is becoming the most irrelevant and laughed at channel on cable today. Her "folksy charm" is just what the people who still watch Faux News need...Those members of the populous who are incapable of understanding or refuse to comprehend the big words that we Liberals like to use...You know, words like "Constitution", "Checks-and-balances", "Bill of Rights", "Humanity", "Compassion", "Diplomacy", etc...Pretty much the polar opposite of everything the Bush administration and the current Republican party is all about.

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