Dear Anonymous,

From the comments of the most recent post not including this one:

UM...have you ever considered seeing a psychiatrist?? I have been reading through your blogs and this is the most ridiculous blog ever!! WOW!!

Well, first of all, let me thank you for bestowing my blog with your (what I can only assume is honorary) title of "The Most Ridiculous Blog Ever" - it's quite an achievement for me. This is my first blog award, and I'm really happy about it even though I'm not sure it's officially recognized by the NBA (National Bloggers Association). But I don't care...they've been ignoring me for two years now.

And thanks also for the all capitals "WOW!!" at the end. That's usually the way I feel after I write most of these posts so I'm glad you felt the same way after reading some of them.


Which brings me to my only point of concern: Did you do any investigating before giving me this award or did you find my blog so wowing that you just made the title up and gave it to me on the spot?

I don't think you did do the requisite research, and that worries me because I don't want to lose this MOST AWESOME HONOR on account of a technicality. You see, Anonymous, there already is a "The Most Ridiculous Blog". There is also another blog titled "Utterly Ridiculous". And a "Ridiculous Blog"!

Do you see why I'm a bit anxious about potentially losing my first award? My fears are lessened upon careful inspection of your comment, however, when I see that you have anointed "Daily DiaTribe" "The Most Ridiculous Blog EVER".

WOW!! "Ever" ... That's almost as good as eternity. Almost. My blog is like the Highlander.

Just in case those other poser ridiculous blogs get in a tiff about me getting this award and not even having the words "most" or "ridiculous" in the title, I'm proposing that you set up and referee the most ridiculous steel cage death match ever between the wannabe ridiculous blogs and my blog. My blog is pretty tough so the others' blogs can even bring their friends if they want. Maybe the most absurd blog and the most preposterous blog will help them. Winner take all - and the losers blogs have to...wait, it's a death match so the losers will be dead.

Can one actually "kill" a website? Is that in and of itself a ridiculous notion? I digress...

Anyway, to answer your question about me seeing a psychiatrist:

Funny you should bring that up now. I was just talking about that with my cat the other day. I floated the idea of seeing a head doctor. When my cat asked why, I told him because I'm having a conversation with a cat! He asked, "How do you think that makes me feel?" And I realized that I was being selfish. I tried to apologize, but the damage had already been done. We haven't talked for two days now. I miss his poetry and his short stories.

No matter...I shouldn't trouble you with my problems.

Thanks, Anonymous...YOU ROCK!!! WOW!!